Sunday Morning Study: Week 6

After three chapters on the different types of guys, the girls get one chapter on their types. Apparently women aren't as complicated. :P 

To stick with the 3 types, the book categorizes girls into 3 types: Dreamer (Prophet parallel), Servant (Priest parallel), and Go-to Gal (King parallel). The traits are, generally speaking, subtler versions of the male traits. This is in conjunction with women being a completer, not a competitor. The focus of the chapter is more on becoming a good example of one's type, not only for marriage but also to be an example to those around oneself.

The Dreamer type is more creative, a little disjointed, full of ideas and plans. The trick is focusing those ideas and creativity and harnessing it to be useful. To quote the book: "Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills." I'm definitely the Dreamer type, with maybe a slight dash of the Go-to Gal (but that's probably because my mom is the latter and her traits have rubbed off on me a bit).

The Servant is  more along the 'sweetheart' lines, with a mothering streak a mile wide, helpful, happy to serve where needed, etc.

The Go-to Gal is strong, capable, and 'oozing with confidence'. (This is my mom to a T, for those of you that might not have met her.) Basically they have a tendency towards dominance, they know what they want, when they want it, and how it's all going to get done, and they get. things. DONE.

With those in mind, on to the notes. It's VERY short this week because (a) there's only one Bible verse, and (2) I procrastinated until 10:00 Saturday night to make said notes. I'm a terrible teacher. D:

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Chapter 6: Three Types of Women
Focus: Live and learn well

Example: 1. One that is a representative of a group as a whole; a sample; specimen.
2. Someone or something worthy of imitation or duplication; a model; a pattern; exemplar.

Model: A person or object serving as an example to be imitated or compared

Exemplar: One that is worthy of being copied; a model

 1 Timothy 4:12 -- "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

(Next week's chapter is on knowledge. I'm alternately looking forward and dreading it because it emphasizes going out and doing something constructive to learn things, and I've already got SO much on my plate...sigh. Hopefully I'll be able to teach it at least.)

Sunday Morning Study: Week 5

Behind again, I know...school has knocked me down and pummeled me into submission. >.< But here goes!

Chapter 5 deals with the king-natured man (Mr. Command). To be honest, this is one of the types that I dislike the most. Part of that may be because the examples I've seen personally have always been poor ones. The forceful, bossy, rammy sort of guy has always rubbed me wrong, which is just my personal take. But, this study hasn't been here to tell me what all I like to hear and know about, so let's get started.

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Chapter 5: The King

Focus: The king-natured man

Subjection

Subject: under the power or authority of another; owing obedience or allegiance to another

In subjection: subdue to be in obedience, submitting oneself to another

Philippians 3:20-21 -- "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

Colossians 3:18 -- "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

Titus 2:4-5 -- "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

Titus 3:1 -- "Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good."

Hebrews 12:9 -- "Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplines us and we respected them for it. How much more should be submit to the Father of our spirits and live!"

James 4:7 -- "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

1 Peter 2:13-18 -- "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God's will that by doing good we should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king."

1 Peter 3:1, 5 -- "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives...For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands."

1 Peter 3:22 (concerning Christ) -- "...who has gone into heaven and is at God's right hand--with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him."

1 Peter 5:5 -- "Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 

"God opposes the proud,

but gives grace to the humble." "

1 Timothy 2:11 -- "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission."

1 Timothy 3:4 (concerning overseers) -- "He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect."

Summary (as quoted from the teacher's guide): "When a Kingly man, lost or saved, is treated with honor and reverence by a good help meet, she will find that her man will be wonderfully protective and supportive. In most marriages, the strive is not because the man is cruel or evil; it is because he expects obedience, honor, and reverence, and is not getting it. He reacts badly."

 The book of Esther is a fantastic example of a woman treating her husband (Xerxes) with honor. Instead of crying about her fate and wondering why God had let her be married to a pagan man during such a dangerous time, she got proactive, treated him to three special meals, and appealed to him as her lord to save her people. She could have accused him of being cruel and uncaring, or given him grief for allowing evil men to influence him...but instead she made a humble appeal and won his favor.

Sunday Morning Study: Week 4

There were no ice storms to disrupt church today, so consider me back on schedule! 

Chapter 4 deals with the priest-natured man (Mr. Steady). What I find about this personality type is that they're very common--or at least, more common than one might think. They're not noticed much because they quietly go about doing their thing without a lot of fanfare or directing, but their absence is noticed when they leave because they DO do so much. As it's said in this book, he won't invent the lightbulb or lead a revolution, but he'll be on the light-bulb building assembly line or falling into the revolutionary ranks. His very stability and easy-going nature makes him probably the easiest type of guy out of the three for a woman to be married. 

(This isn't to say that there wouldn't be problems--any relationship between two people is bound to have some at one time or another--but they're far different and fewer than what one would run into with the two other types.)

On a side note, I mentioned to a guy I know that I think he's a Prophet-type, and he brought something quite interesting to my attention. He agreed that he had certain Prophet-like tendencies, but his parents think that he's a Kingly type, and he said that he works like Steady. He also mentioned that while guys have certain stronger personality traits, it's well within their capabilities to work on those traits and whittle away the bad, retain the good, encourage this and squelch that, etc. In other words, they are fully capable of developing as a person just as women are expected to do so in this book.

Like I said a few weeks ago: I like this book, but I also disagree with parts of it. I'm sure it wasn't meant in this way, but a lot of times it comes across (when describing men) that men's personalities are set in stone and the women are the ones that need to change, not the men. I know it's not all that black and white, but that's just what it sounds like sometimes. */side note*

The role of the wife to the priestly type is to be modest or shamefaced (in words as well as outwardly), cultivate her own skills to the honor of her husband and family, show initiative in ventures, and be well-rounded, accomplished women. They won't expect miracles, but being lazy or immodest in speech and actions is very disheartening for a guy who is trying to make a go of it. He wants an equal partner, not a slug or an unwise floozy.

Anyway. Before I ramble on too much more, here are the actual notes.

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Chapter 4: The Priest

Focus: The priest-natured man

Shamefacedness: 1. indicative of shame; ashamed

2. extremely modest or shy; bashful

Idleness: 1. Inactive

2. Lazy, shiftless

3. Lacking foundation; useless and worthless

4. To pass time without working or in avoiding work

5. To move lazily and without purpose

Proverbs 19:15 -- "Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry."

Ecclesiastes 10:18 -- "If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks."

 1 Timothy 5:13 -- "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to."

(The above concerns widows and younger widows, but I had an interesting thought about the above that I'll address at the end)

Proverbs 31:27 -- "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." 

Ezekiel 16:49 -- "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy."

(In the King James translation, 'unconcerned' is 'idleness')

Romans 12:9-21 -- "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil or evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; 

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Hebrews 6:9-12 -- "Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case -- things that accompany salvation. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."

1 Timothy 2:9 (KJV) (concerning shamefacedness) -- "In like manner also, that women should adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobermindedness, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly array,  but, as becometh women professing godliness, with good works."

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Okay! Time to tackle 1 Timothy 5:13 up there! *cracks knuckles*

 Whenever I read the 'going from house to house saying what they ought not' bit in the past, I always thought of a person literally going from house to house and gossiping. But the longer I stay on Facebook and read blogs and associate with things online, the more I realize that those venues are being used much in the same fashion. I'm not about to call for a mass exodus from Facebook...but let's face it, there are a lot of people who use those venues for less than noble purposes.

(Is 'Facebook' and 'noble' in the same sentence an oxymoron?)

 The people group I'm thinking of specifically are young ladies of a certain age that (a) don't have jobs, (b) don't go to school, and (c) are unmarried. I was in that place a couple of years ago, and I cringe at the amount of time I spent going on Facebook or chatting online with people and feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't having the grand time that everyone else seemed to be having. I'm not one for gossiping, either then nor now, but having a lot of free time to waste bred a great deal of discontent and might have turned to gossip and nitpicking at people if I hadn't gotten another job and started classes. 

I have a friend who has been having a lot of trouble from girls (and their mothers) who are of this particular type of group. These girls and their mothers are the worst offenders! And to make matters worse, they say these things in the name of Christianity and to 'sanctify' others, when the end result is to tear down the very ones they profess to be building up.

I agree that going to college isn't for everybody, and some people are unable to work. But sitting around waiting to get married and doing nothing in the meantime is not only unproductive, it breeds malcontent and murmuring and gossip. That's why Paul says to encourage the young widows to remarry--these days, we're able to work and be productive when marriage isn't an option for the foreseeable future. 

So my opinion? BE PRODUCTIVE. Ladies, we're not meant to sit around waiting for life to drop a husband or other opportunities in our laps. Go out and grab life by the throat while you still can! Get a job or get a degree or volunteer or do SOMETHING--anything to keep from being discontented or a busybody or a time-waster. It doesn't help you, and it doesn't help anyone around you to be a taker instead of a giver. 

Sunday Morning Study: Week 3

Week 3 of the Sunday morning ladies' study--this is my last chapter of notes, and then I should be on a more regular schedule of just Sundays.

This chapter is the first in a series of three about types of men. Debi Pearl classifies men within three general categories: the Prophet (Mr. Visionary), the Priest (Mr. Steady), and the King (Mr. Command). This is something of a personality and 'type' sketch--most guys, I've noticed, are a combination of traits but more lean more heavily in one than the other. The idea in these chapters is to get an idea of how a guy 'works' within a type, and then adjusting oneself according to complement his traits. 

(The three categories reflect the triune nature of God, with king=God, priest=Jesus, and prophet=Holy Spirit)

The 'prophet' type is a mover and shaker, desiring to change the status quo, thriving on confrontation and a need to express themselves through some form of creativity. They're always coming up with crazy business ventures and inventions, focusing on random issues, etc. This kind of guy is a huge amount of fun and a huge headache at the same time, to be honest...I know several people who are like this, and I'm always either inspired or frustrated by them (sometimes at the same time!).

The role of the wife if she's married to this type is to watch her conversation (i.e., don't talk badly about people) because her words have a lot of impact, and while she's his #1 cheerleader she also keeps him grounded.

I'd like to interject here that I think the role of the wife is the same no matter who she's married to--but certain characteristics needs to be cultivated more strongly and given more attention depending on the type of man she marries. As for me and the prophet type...like I said earlier, I'm always inspired and frustrated simultaneously by them. If I was married to one, it'd take a lot of adjusting.

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Chapter 3: The Prophet

Focus: The prophet-natured man

Conversation: 1. An informal spoken exchange of thoughts and feelings; a familiar talk

2. Social intercourse; close association

3. Manner of life; behavior

Behavior: 1. The manner in which one behaves; deportment; demeanor

2. The actions or reactions of persons or things under specified circumstances

Synonyms: Behavior (actions on specific occasions involving essentially external/sometimes superficial relationships);

Conduct (applies to actions in more significant relationships considered from standpoint of morals and ethics);

Deportment (actions measured by prevailing social code)

Matthew 12:36 -- ^"A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken."

(this is regarding conversation--a wise wife knows when to build up and when to tear down. Plus, if she's saying good things (ideas, compliments, having a realistic optimism) instead of bad (complaining, finding fault, being a wet blanket about life), her husband is far more inclined to enjoy her company)

1 Timothy 4:12 -- "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

(Start learning while young to have 'chaste conversation'! If a girl is married to a prophet-type her words can stir up his anger against herself or others. This isn't to have a Pollyanna-type look on life. It's to realize that it's not important to 'be right' or 'have the last word' or 'look better than everyone else'; the important thing is to remain flexible, smile when you feel slighted, store up your treasures in heaven, and ignore the things that don't matter)

Ephesians 2:3 -- "All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature [ Or our flesh ] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath."

Ephesians 4:22-32 -- "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption^. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.^"
 

^{(This is a reminder to not let conversation be ruled by the lusts of the flesh)}

^{Philippians 1:27 -- "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel."}

 ^{1 Peter 1:15 --  "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do..."}

^{(Link between our conversation and the gospel)}

^{Hebrews 13:5 -- "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,}

“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.” "

(This reminds us to be content)

James 3:13-18 -- ^"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. ¹⁶ For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.<sup>"

(This is the link between wisdom and conversation)
  
1 Peter 3:1-2 --"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."

1 Peter 3:16 -- "But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."

 (Conversation without words)</sup> 
 

^{Some of the traits that the wife of the prophet type needs to have:}

^Flexibility

^Loyalty

^{The ability to go with the flow}

^Supportive

^{Enjoying the trip}

^{Thinking objectively with common sense}

^{Staying positive and grounded}

^{Guarding against idle/negative conversation}

^{Be tough and inoffensive (not easily given to offense)
 Listen and cheerlead}

^{Faithfulness in God and her husband's ability}

^{Purposefulness with own life}

Sunday Morning Study: Week 1

Today was the third week for a young ladies' study that I've been leading at church. I've been taking copious amounts of notes and steeping my mind in the book and the verses listed in the teacher's study guide each week before teaching a chapter...and just 3 classes have gotten me thinking a LOT.

The book in question is Preparing to Be A Help Meet, by Debi Pearl.

I would like to point out that I don't agree with EVERYTHING the Pearls teach. There's a lot of people out there who are convinced that the Pearls are harsh and rigid and unyielding people because of unfavorable reviews, especially concerning their book To Train Up A Child. However, I can disagree with some things a person says and not totally throw away everything about them. Part of the fun of teaching from these books is researching as I go along, sifting through the information, picking out the gems and throwing away the chaff.

With that said, I do agree with quite a bit of what they say. Most of their knowledge is very down-to-earth, and the abusing of said knowledge comes from taking it out of context or to extremes (funny thing, people do the same thing with the Bible all the time....hmmm....maybe we should start reading the source and stop just going by what people say all the time, yes?).

But I digress. Back to the subject on hand!

Preparing to Be A Help Meet is a book to help girls to get a head start on marriage. Most people will get married someday, and not only does it not hurt to have a head start, it can make the difference between making or breaking a new marriage. 

The book itself is very attractive, easy to read, replete with footnotes throughout from different guys' perspectives, and has a complete teacher's guide in the back. This has proven extremely helpful to me, since I've never taught a class on anything before. *gulp* Fortunately I have a group of girls attending that I know quite well and am good friends with them. Camaraderie covers up a multitude of teaching mistakes.

Without any further ado, here are my notes for week 1. As each Sunday goes by I'll post the corresponding notes from that week, and hopefully I won't get behind like this again. Each chapter has an overall theme, a word study, Bible verses, and questions.

Chapter 1 is really heavy. For a book that looks like it'll just deal with 'relationship stuff', it kicks off with prayer and the command and need for prayer. God doesn't force us to do things, and that includes not forcing us to take the blessings that are available if we just ask for them. Prayer is needed in order to grant God permission to work in our lives. (Poor description, but it's the only way I can think of how to say it)

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Week 1, Chapter 1: The Kid

Focus: Prayer

Prayer: 1. A reverent petition made to God

2. The act of making such a petition

3. Any act of communion with God, such as a confession, praise, or thanksgiving

4. Any fervent request

Communion: 1. A possessing or sharing in common; participation

2. A sharing of thoughts or feelings, intimate talk

3a. A religious or spiritual fellowship

3b. A body of Christians with a common religious faith who practice the same rites; denomination

Reverent/Reverence: 1. A feeling of profound awe and respect and often of love; veneration

2. An act of showing respect

Petition: 1. A solemn supplication or request  to a superior authority; an entreaty

Antonyms: answer, command, demand

Synonyms: appeal, implore, entreaty, supplication

A prayer can be as simple as a thought and inward speech to God, or big enough to lead an assembly.

Read aloud: Matthew 9:38, Luke 10:2, John 15:7, 2 Thessalonians 3:1-2

"Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." -- Matthew 9:38

"He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." -- Luke 10:2

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." --John 15:7

"As for other matters, brothers and sisters, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you.  And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil people, for not everyone has faith." -- 2 Thess. 3:1-2

Why does God want us to pray? "He tells us to pray that the word they are preaching will have free course. The devils that would otherwise hinder them with sickness, strife, or worldliness will not be able to slow down the gospel message!" -- Preparing To Be A Help Meet

"In summary: One of the most important commands God gives us in His word is to pray for laborers for the fields, men and women who will go forth to give the gospel. Yet who obeys His command to pray for laborers?

~We have a command to pray.

~We have a responsibility to pray.

~Do you pray for laborers to give the gospel?" -- Preparing