Unintended Hiatus (April 2016)

((written in April - much has happened since))


*peers around corner* Hello?

Ahem. Hi, guys. It's only been....what.....nine months since I've posted anything?

Gosh. I could have had a baby in that time. (Don't worry, I didn't. And won't.)

I feel like so much has happened, and yet in some areas nothing much at all has happened. So consider this a quick recap of the last nine months, in non-linear order.

1. From September to January, I broke out of the non-dating rut and was seeing a guy for a while. This is after not dating anyone for 4 1/2 years, so it was kind of a big deal for me. To make a long story short: I liked him (a lot), he liked me (so he said), he realized he had a bunch of emotional baggage/issues, asked for a 'break', and I haven't seen/heard from him since New Year's.

So. There's that.

2. I have a new protégé at the barn: an 8-year-old Quarter horse named Due. He's a special case because he was given some very cursory ground training as a young'un and then was left in a pasture with no further training. The people I ride with bought him and his father (the latter had had some professional training put into him as a 3-year-old but then was put out to pasture as well) back in August or September. We had a bit of a rocky start because he didn't know ANYTHING and was incredibly reactive--there was a short time when he responded to anything he didn't understand with shooting backwards as quickly as he could go. This resulted in me nearly getting yanked off my feet several times and even (to my shame) screaming hysterically at him at one point. Needless to say, it was not one of my better moments.

As the months have gone by, here are some of the before/after scenarios:

Going from shooting backwards uncontrollably at sudden motions ----> tossing his head slightly;

Not being able to walk in a straight line under saddle ----> following the wall;

Very little control on lunge line ----> walk, trot, lope, and changing directions with rollbacks;

Not wanting his feet handled ----> calmly standing for extended periods of time while he gets shod;




Et cetera. Two weeks ago I went with two ladies to a Clinton Anderson clinic in Memphis and we all came back determined to be more systematic with training in general. We're working through the Fundamentals (the first level) right now and are making charts to keep track of all the horses' progress. I will say, even over the last week they have all responded very well to having a thorough, consistent approach--especially Due. He's the kind of horse that would raise his head and hold it there while he gets worked, but now every time he rests he drops his head and looks far more relaxed. I love it.




3. Art-wise my goal this has been to get one large drawing done per month. So far we have:


January: Car bumper for work (every time we get a bank loan we put a bumper sticker on the car)
February: Hand-lettering practice (playing around with pen and ink)
March: Watercolor of horse and rider (started off as watercolor practice for me but I ended up selling it)
April: Beatles commission (for Will--album art for a school project); tree commission (for a guy who is revamping the logo for his business)




I started out the year hoping for a few more commissions, but not counting on getting any soon. As soon as I started posting artwork more consistently I had several people approach me about doing commissions - a girl that I volunteer with wants a drawing of her horse, and a lady from church wants a drawing of one of their calves.




The only issue with commissions is that it takes time away from working on stuff that *I* want to do. XD But that's the nature of the beast...




4. Photography is still around but definitely in hobby status right now. Anymore I just like to show up places where I know interesting things will be happening and snap pictures. My favorite place to shoot lately has been at local fox hunts, because everyone shows up in their classy English duds and the horses look amazing. (No, they don't actually hunt foxes, they just run the dogs and occasionally they'll flush out a coyote or a deer)

Discipline

Discipline [dis-uh-plin] : behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control

Way back in the first week of May, right before going out to Colorado for a work week (Colorado was

awesome, by the way, and caused lots of mulling thoughts after coming back), I volunteered to help with a ladies' brunch at church. Technically it was for Mother's Day, but all women were invited regardless of their marital/parental status. I guess it's nice to be remembered. XD

Anyway. I offered some dishes and silver to decorate a table, showed up to help get food ready, putzed around helping with the mundane stuff that always needs done at these sorts of things, etc. (It's kind of weird, but I find it comforting to do mundane tasks. There's nothing like setting a table or making tea or putting food on a table to make one feel like they're doing something simply because the results are visible.)

After brunch there was a speaker, and honestly, my first thought was 'oh, this is going to be something on biblical womanhood or something I've heard a million times and it's going to be boring'. That's not to say that the subject of biblical womanhood is necessarily a bad one, but hearing the same old thing over and over again gets a little old.

To my pleasant surprise she spoke about something entirely different. I can't recall at the moment the exact topic (I didn't take notes), but at one point she mentioned having a 'word of the year', or a 'word of the season', to describe one's current season of life.

No sooner had she suggested to write down a word or two, when the word 'discipline' sprang to mind.

This is something that I've been dancing around for years (sometimes it feels like my whole life, but that's my internal whiner exaggerating), but have never sat down and actually pin-pointed my underlying inability to stick with something for very long.

I have a great respect for people who are diligent, reliable, and disciplined in the way they live life. One such person is my dad, who has had the same unfailing routine for years: he gets up sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 AM every morning so that he can do his morning exercises (for a problematic back), read his Bible, eat breakfast, and devote at least an hour to playing fiddle.

When I was younger and my parents played music full-time, he usually practiced in the evenings during the week, after he got home from working part-time (not that music can't be a viable source of income, but rarely is it sufficient for a family of six). Getting a full-time job switched up his schedule, and for the last 12-13 years the practice time got flipped to the early mornings.

This unflagging steadiness has been a great source of comfort: first, in the fact that my dad is a steady, reliable person who could be counted upon to be more or less the same from day to day; and second, in the knowledge that discipline is feasible for 'mere mortals' (reading about disciplined people that are now dead is great and all, but death has a tendency to shroud a person in a degree of myth and unattainability).

Even with this knowledge and first-hand observation of discipline, it's a difficult thing to cultivate.

Here's just a short list of the things I wish I were more disciplined with:

-Reading my Bible daily

-Working out daily

-Art in general

-Horse training

-Writing (and by extension blogging)

-Bookbinding

-Entrepreneurial pursuits

-Getting up early to be more productive

-Learning another language

The only things lately that I've done with any sort of consistency is getting up early (I'm to 5:30 AM now, after months of tediously turning back the alarm a minute every few days), and working out semi-regularly (having an exercise journal helps immensely, as does driving to a little walking trail a few minutes from my apartment. Getting out of the house has an air of 'well, we've gotten this far away from home, might as well make the most of it'.)

The rest, though, always seems to fall flat after a few days of stick-to-it-ive-ness. And the root, much as I loathe the word, is entrenched in laziness.

Perhaps 'desire to do something else' would be a better word for it. When I should be training horses, all I want to do is lope one of the 'fun' horses in a field. When I have an idea for writing or musing, I want to read instead. When I should go out and walk to stretch out from sitting at a desk all days, I want to nap. When I get an idea for making and selling something, I want to play with designs.

On and on it goes. Suffice to say, every time I give in and don't do what I really ought to do, discipline suffers and days may go by without coming back to doing what I ought.

I don't really have anything encouraging to say, after all that, except that I know that 'discipline' is something I struggle with more than ever. The more I struggle with something, the more I know that I need to do it. The problem is buckling down and JUST DOING IT.

Aftermath

Hey guys. So it’s been several months since I’ve blogged here…..again. For now the only excuse I have is that I don’t have internet at all, unless it’s at work or the library. And the library closes, on average, at 4:30. I can sit in the parking lot to use the wifi, but sitting in the car after sitting all day at work isn’t exactly my idea of fun or productive.Instead of whining about lack of time/laziness/whatever, I'm just going to post some blatherings that I wrote back in December before and after I had been asked out by a perfect stranger. Enjoy it in all its unedited glory.

            12/8/14

Endless waiting is nervewracking. (The clock reads 11:20. I can’t leave til 11:45.)

            I’ve had a headache since Friday. Stupid nerves. It doesn’t help that there’s a low-pressure system hanging over the entire region. There is a blank sheet of clouds pressing down—I can feel it in my sinuses, under my eyes and wrapped around to the back of my neck.

            For the past few days I’ve found it difficult to eat, difficult to sleep, difficult to think. Saturday I was distracted with making jelly. Sunday all I wanted to do was cry and sleep. Part of the problem is having not gone outside for days, and part is the weight of stress, of facing something that is FAR outside of my comfort zone.

            In other news, I finished Lord of the Rings yesterday and picked up The Silmarillion for the third or fourth time in 18 months. Each time I read a little farther, until I get overwhelmed with the names and events and have to put it down for a few months. Maybe I will finish it in this attempt. Currently I’m embroiled in the tragedy of Turin Turambar, and read the part where he accidentally kills Beleg and is struck with grief and madness. I was reading over my breakfast, and hated to stop for work (which has been a rarity with The Silmarillion—most of it is so dense that it’s a chore, albeit a pleasant one, to read). And I hated to see Beleg die, after most of that chapter was about him and his labors to bring Turin out of self-imposed exile.

            Insert a great noise of sadness and exasperation.

            12 minutes to go. Words cannot express how terrified I am right now.

            I have it on good account from the pastor at church that this guy is at least decent. The terrible part is that I don’t even remember what he looks like (beyond tall and skinny). Presumably he’ll remember me (for which I’m not sure if I want to be remembered).

            Something that has really struck me lately is how many people (mostly from church) have come up to comment about me or my looks. It’s kind of disconcerting—at the ranch it’s kind of expected, or at least not unusual. But in real life I don’t know what to make of it.

*UPDATE*

            I’m back. And all the terror was ill-spent.

            That is to say: it was nice. And I’m glad that I went, for no other reason than it was good to do something that I wasn’t comfortable with. But he was nice enough, and thankfully called it ‘lunch’ rather than ‘a date’.

            I was waiting for the guy (let’s call him J) to show up, and there was an old man painting a fence nearby. So, to kill time, I introduced myself and picked up a paintbrush. I don’t think he knew what to do, because he stood there for a moment before saying, “Now what’s your name again?”

            Suffice to say, it was amusing. J showed up while I was painting the fence, and seemed a little surprised to see me occupied thus (though I couldn’t really blame him).

            My biggest relief was that as soon as I got there, all my nerves seemed to go away (beyond not being able to eat much—traitorous stomach!). The anticipation was truly worse than reality.

            Two awkward moments arose, but thankfully they were easily brushed off. The little waitress, who knew J, had brought drinks and was going to get menus. When she came back, she said, “Are you two on a date?”

            I said nothing, but laughed a little. J said, “Let’s call it lunch.” (Words cannot describe how relieved I felt at that little statement.)

            She persisted, and said “I hear y’all getting to know each other and it’s just so cute,” before fleeing in a tizzy. I passed a hand over my eyes; when I opened them J looked at me and said, “Small town.”

            Small town indeed. I would have run into the same problem back at home.

            The other awkward moment was when a kid in high school came up to me and said, “You’re the Earring Girl, aren’t you?” before making some small talk.

            (Story-time: I had made some origami crane earrings on a whim a couple of weeks ago. I had made a quick run to Walmart the day after making them, and in that time this kid saw my earrings, told his mom, and she bought them from me for $20. Made. My. Day.)

            I guess the overall feeling from the entire outing was one of “all right, I can do this.” Given time and association, I probably could become attracted (and would, given my tendency to latch onto people who give me attention O.e). At this point in time, I’m not looking for a relationship and I have several orange to red flags that are concerning.

1.      He’s a nice guy, yes. BUT he’s also newly divorced (officially for about a month (!), separated since August) (the biggest red flag at the moment).
2.  The only thing that we seemed to have a mutual interest in was hiking. (He’s more what I would label the typical product of public school and college—not in a bad way, but interest-wise)
3. My gut feeling is one of hesitation, and I’m just…not…sure.    

            There were a few hints of “maybe I could show you around” and “it’d be fun to go hike sometime and talk to you again”. I agreed to nothing as of yet. He mentioned something about how hard it is to find someone to do things with around here, and I agree completely. But my experience with men has been that they have a difficult time remaining ‘friends’. That’s not necessarily a bad thing: men and women are magnets, and if they get close enough they’re going to stick together. That’s the way we’re designed. But I know that if I don’t lay down a boundary, the chances increase that he’ll eventually want exclusivity.

            I am a little torn, because yes, it would be awesome to have someone to hike with. Yes, it’d be nice to have a local to show me around. But I have a feeling that it’ll have to be a girl, or no one, because leading this guy on (intentionally or no) can only end in messiness.

********************************

As a follow-up to that little excursion: I never heard from the guy again. *insert great feeling of relief* The indecision was VERY short-lived and after a day or so I was going "please don't call me please don't call me please don't call me". (And it's times like these that I look back on my blatherings and cringe a tiny bit.) Thankfully there have been no other prospects or interest shown from or towards anyone. The result has been a series of wild oscillations from "yay, it's great to be single!" to "FOREVER ALONE".

I also finished The Silmarillion shortly afterwards. For the first time EVER. *cheers* And in January I started my giant project of hand-piecing a quilt. If I can get pictures, some will be posted eventually.

For now, consider this a tiny little update into a facet of life in Arkansas.

 



Twenty-Fourteen: A Recap (Part 3)

October 2014

As mentioned before: my Aunt Amy and I had been talking back and forth about plans post-ranch, and she suggested (especially since her boss had offered the job) that I could apply to work at her office. My life motto at the time was 'well, why not?' (one good thing about the summer is that it seemed to make me a little more daring), so I sent in the application, had an interview over the phone, and was looking for a place to live. Amy or I would find a place online, and she would go check it out for me. By the time I was ready to leave the ranch on October 5^th, we still hadn't found a place. So I decided to drive to her place, stay for 2-3 days, finish up the application process, and try to find a place to live. That didn't give us much time, but it was at least something.

Wonder of wonders: the day after I drove there we found a little quadplex about 5 minutes from the office (I finally got pictures of it around Christmas).

Looking in the front door...

Kitchen area!

Living room....

There's a fireplace too!

Upstairs...

There are windows to open so that all the warm air will heat up the upstairs

Mine bed

The "craft room" (currently it's littered with fabric and the makings of a quilt)

The next two weeks were very fast paced: I drove home on the 9^th, spent the next week and a half packing, and my parents helped me move on the 20^th. (Happy birthday to me…) Mom and Dad stayed for the remainder of that week helping me move in and such, and on the 27^th I started working for State Farm.

The learning curve for State Farm has been a fairly sharp one. The first week was completely overwhelming, of course, but as of December 17^th I was officially licensed in Property and Casualty and am becoming more confident in what I can do at the office.

I will say that initially, when my aunt mentioned possibly working for State Farm, my reaction was 'ugh'. The idea of sitting for 8-9 hours a day staring at a computer screen didn't sound like my idea of fun, especially after spending most of my working life in moderately to extremely active jobs. So I thought that I would give it a year, and if I didn't like it at the end of the year then I could do something else.

But now I'm not so sure that I could uproot myself so quickly after doing so once. And the job is a lot more interesting than I initially gave it credit. There's a lot to know, and a lot to do, and each day brings something different to the table. I'm discovering that I really like the area—it reminds me a bit of home, though for some reason the first question I get when people learn that I've just moved is 'have you adjusted to the culture shock yet?' (If 'culture shock' is measured in 'lack of good dentistry', then no, I haven't quite gotten over that yet.)

The job is sedentary, yes, but I've been making up for that in walking 4-5 times a week. Usually I can get in at least two miles over my lunch break, and if the sun is still up at 5 I can go to a little state park nearby to squeeze in another mile or two. I've found a place to ride horses, and the owners are incredibly nice and welcoming people--basically they say 'come over and ride whenever you want whatever you want!' and it's great. There is also a little mare on one of my walking routes, and I would desperately like to find the owner (partially to see if they would mind my playing with her, and partially to find out why she still has one foot shod while the rest are barefoot. Anyway.).

It's a little strange living alone, to be sure, though after the initial shock of quietness it's really not too bad. It's nice to be able to come home, cook a little dinner, work on some projects, and shut everything down by 9 PM. The only issue is the possibility of turning into a hermit…but I'm so peopled-out by the end of the day that it's nice to not have to interact with anyone (unless I go ride) On Thursdays I've been invited to attend a women's Bible study, and most weekends I spend cleaning the house or cooking for the rest of the week (I try to cook ahead so I don't have to worry about lunch prep) or going for a hike or plugging away at whatever project I happen to be working on.

Speaking of projects, I've begun what I'm informally referring to as 'the year-long project': a quilt that is completely hand-pieced. It's in a hummingbird pattern, and based off of an antique quilt top that my mom is currently finishing. I didn't have the actual pattern, so I drew one looking at pictures and working off of the measurements Mom gave me. All the fabrics are somewhat old-fashioned: small floral prints, larger floral prints, polka dots, muted solids, etc. I've mostly been cutting out the pieces for now…but it's going to be something of an undertaking. The biggest thing to remember is to not get in a hurry, and to realize that it's probably going to take the better part of the year just to piece it. I've thought about making it queen-size…or maybe just a lap throw to start. We'll see. XD

And that just about brings us up to date…I'll try to blog when I think of it. I haven't been taking any pictures lately…to be honest, when it's just me and I don't have a subject (usually it was the dog, or a horse, or people at the ranch) every picture I take seems kind of dull. It doesn't help that 90% of the time for the past month it's been gloomy, rainy, cloudy, and cold out. I'm not complaining, mind—but just letting y'all know why there are no pictures.

With that said, keep a weather eye out, and I'll try to come back before another 8 months lapse again!

May 2014

Guess where I'm going to be in May? 

*happy sigh* I can't wait to go back. I'm just saying.

I've gotten on as a wrangler this year, and I'm super excited: mostly because it means that I'll be at the barn ALL THE TIME and I won't have to leave to clean cabins. AAAAHHHH.

 It also means that I'll get to wear spurs. I have only worn spurs like....twice. And both times were this year while riding the blind mare. But this week I invested in a pair of spurs (they were supposed to arrive today, and I suspect that they're still in the mailbox because we forgot to get the mail. *facepalm*) and as soon as they get here I'm going to find excuses to wear them EVERYWHERE. I might even find places to ride with them! 

But anyway...May is proving to be a packed month because I'm going to drive out to Colorado, but before that I'm taking pictures for my brother's wedding, visiting my aunt in Arkansas, visiting friends in Texas, and driving all over the West before actually ending up in Colorado. So that ought to be interesting. And I also signed up for a Color Vibe 5K in Fort Collins at the end of May, which should also be interesting because I've never ran in a race before.

No...wait....I have, actually. There's a race here in town called the Strawberry Strut that occurs every June. There's a 1-mile and a 5-mile race, and when I was 8 or so my older brother and I decided to run the 1-mile. BIG MISTAKE. I don't remember much, except towards the end I was panting so hard that I was making a weird, coughing, 'HUUUHH' sound in my chest. I can only replicate the noise if I breathe REALLY hard, and when I do people scream at me to stop because it sounds so awful. 

But anyway. The 5K should be better because I've actually been running a bit (started last year and have been running almost every day at the gym--today I walked/ran 1.5 miles! Exciting times!) and have a Couch-to-5K plan that I'm kinda working on (in between sprint sessions). If nothing else, I hope that spending a couple of weeks at 9200 feet and then plunging down to 5000 feet will give me a false sense of endurance. XD

And after that....I have no idea what's going to happen. I've been tossing around ideas for moving to Colorado, trying to get an actual business off the ground, possibly going on a mission trip out of the country (which is WAY up in the air right now)...to put it succinctly, life is exciting and I have no idea what I'm doing. That's what makes it an adventure, right?

Twin Sisters Sunrise Hike

I know I usually just post weekly recaps, but sometimes I feel like posting more recent stuff. XD

Last week Tess and I decided to get together a group of people to hike Twin Sisters, which looms behind the ranch. I've been meaning to hike it all summer, and between schedules not jiving for when other people were hiking, work, and just being plain intimidated, I never did. However, we have some people leaving in a few days and decided it was now or never. A sign-up sheet was posted under staff housing, we made the plans to wake up at 2:30 so we could be ready to leave by 3:15 at the latest, and by the time Friday rolled around we had 16 people committed to this endeavor. 

Friday night I went to bed around 9:30, but woke up every half hour or so to check my watch in a panic. I have this weird mental thing every time I get ready to do something exciting or new that makes me nervous and think that I'm going to sleep in. The same thing happens right before a plane trip too. >.< There was a terrific thunderstorm around midnight, too, and I remember hearing it and thinking in a muddled way that maybe that meant we weren't going to be able to hike the next morning.

But, against all odds, I got up at 2:30 (actually 2:00, when someone over on guys' side was making a racket, and then again at 2:25 when my roommate's alarm went off) and met everyone down underneath staff housing. Our new photographer, Josiah (I'll give a more thorough introduction through pictures one of these days) had climbed it the previous morning and for some reason wanted to climb it again with us. O.o Our group consisted of Josiah, Darron, Chris, Tom (Chris' brother), 3 guests, Amy, Moriah, Tess, Gabrielle, Grace (a volunteer for the week), Keens, Tamara, Tiffany (my other roommate), and myself...so it was a pretty decent bunch of folks.

The first half mile or so was the worst--after praying in the upper meadow we walked up the old well road and started up the side of the mountain. The trailhead is by Lily Lake, but starting at the actual trailhead adds another half hour or so. Instead, we climbed almost straight up the side of the mountain, stumbling over slash and rocks and such in the night before actually finding the trail. That's a good 25 minutes of pure respiratory agony...around this point we split into a faster group and a smaller group, re-met on the trail, and set off again. (I may have gasped upon flopping onto the trail, "That's the most beautiful sight I've ever seen in my life!")

The moon was so bright that, although most of us brought flashlights, they proved to be unnecessary. I started out with the faster group, but eventually the faster/slower groups became separated and I became separated from the faster group as well. The result was that I doggedly hiked up the trail by myself in the moonlight for a good 45 minutes without seeing anyone...it was oddly peaceful and meditative, as long as I didn't think about bears, coyotes, and Slenderman. XD

Finally we made it to the boulder field just below the summit, and I, trying to be clever and cut time off, decided to leave the trail and climb straight to the summit. Instead I stumbled across boulders and ended up several hundred feet from where I was supposed to be. *facepalm* The lesson of the day is that (a) you don't leave the trail, (b) you don't leave the trail at night, and (c) cutting across switchbacks is only a good idea when you can see the switchback.

Anyway...moving on. Once I figured out where I was I managed to find the others and climbed to the very tip-top around 5:20. It was a good hour until sunrise, so Darron had brought a blanket and several people were huddled under said blanket. I put on my heavy coat (bringing it up was agony, but it was dang cold on that mountain) and ran around taking pictures. Darron had to yell at me a couple of times for jumping around on the rocks...what can I say, I'm surefooted and a little too confident when it comes to rock-climbing. ^^;

This was looking out on the city below TS...I think it's Lyons, but I'm not sure on that number. Whatever it is, it looked pretty sweet from up top.

Part of our brave group, with Tamara blinding me. XD

There, that's better.

Tess! She ran around with me for most of an hour, chatting and taking pictures of each other.

"MOUNTAIN I HAVE CONQUERED THEE!!!!"

Pure misery....except for Chris and Darron. I never know what they're doing.

Guy picture! I think Chris was a little chilled here. The guy has no body fat to keep warm. XD

The sun coming above the horizon...

Guess whose feet these are. :P

This was Keens' idea, and I'm super proud of how it turned out. :3

Josiah climbed to the other peak and had us line up so he could get a picture of us with the sun rising behind. Here's the result below:

Talk about AWESOME. This guy is super talented, folks. Follow him on Instagram (josiahfilm) if you so desire. He keeps trying to convince me to get an iPhone and Instagram...but I'm still thinking about it.

 

Partial group picture...

Then they were going to do a Pennsylvania-folks-only picture (well, Darron is from Tennessee but is Pennsylvanian by choice), and it ended up looking like Tiffany was trying to melt Darron's face off with the sun. O.o

The 'epic bro-pic', according to Darron and Chris. XD

And then I had to get one with the bros. XD (Darron and Chris consider each other brothers, basically--D worked with C and his dad last year, they've been best friends for years, etc)
 

On the way down we saw a bunch of gnarly twisted trees that we assume had been struck by lightning--they have these reddish veins running all the way down and look dead.

But they look pretty dang neat up close. :P

On the way down...Tess and I walked together most of the way, got a nice chat in along the way, and met up with Darron about halfway down. At that point we all started sorta racing each other down: cutting across switchbacks, jogging, occasionally sprinting (at least I did--it's a miracle that I didn't catch my foot and go sprawling across the trail multiple times)...it wasn't the smartest moment of the hike. ^^; I started walking once we reached the well road while the others jogged ahead, and made it back to staff housing by 8:05, changed my shirt, and was in the kitchen by 8:15.

Some of us did get into trouble though, because while my group was the first one back there were some others that didn't get back until 9:30 or 10, and there was a staff meeting at 8:15. So there may not be anymore sunrise hikes if people can't get their act together. >.< I missed the shakedown, what with working in the kitchen that day, but I heard about it later. It's probably a good thing I wasn't there, because I hate getting into trouble. Sigh.

That aside, I considered the hike to be highly successful! I helped in the kitchen and felt great until about 1:30 in the afternoon. At that point I felt like I had gotten slapped by a huge blanket of exhaustion-induced nausea and slept until 5. (My stomach hurts when I'm overly tired, for some reason) Afterwards I decided that I never wanted to hike Twin Sisters again. But then I hiked it last Thursday...so never say never, folks. :P

Blather

Since it's late, I'm just going to blather for a while. Is that okay with ya'll? Yes? All righty. Let's do this thing.

Last night I was having nightmares about being late...most of them consisted of not being packed, starting to pack right when I actually needed to be at the train station, and generally getting very upset and discouraged. Sigh. Hopefully tonight's crop will be a little nicer.

I have a physical, personal journal that I write in occasionally (few times a month or so), but for the past year to year and a half I've been refraining from writing much of anything...fear of jinxing myself over personal subjects or getting too personal seemed to be the primary reason. (Actually, from February to October of last year I didn't write a word in a physical journal. But anyway.) Starting last October I was writing again, but kept it very short and succinct. Most entries had to do with exercise and food journaling, actually. XD

But over the last few months I've started getting a little more personal. It's kind of nice, to be honest. My only problem is sometimes I want to pour stuff out, but I'm worried that I'll look back at certain parts of my life and either shudder at my ridiculousness, or someone will get ahold of my stuff and see some silly/inconsequential/not-so-nice stuff. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or what. Part of the jinxing thing seems to be creeping back as well--I've noticed that when I start writing about things that I'm concerned or hopeful about, they usually turn out the exact opposite that I wish they would.

Maybe I am being paranoid. XD

In other news...in 7 days I'll be on a train heading west. O.o We're having a little going-away party tomorrow night starring tamales, other random food items, and desserts (the identity of which I am not sure). I was hoping to have a bonfire, but dangit if it hasn't been raining for the past two days. Sigh. So we're going to have to figure out how to fit 25 people in our little house. *rolls up sleeves*

Tomorrow proves to be a long day, party aside--I have to do laundry, clean a house, go shopping, bake a pie, and be home (not necessarily in that order) before people start showing up. Ees gonna be an interesting one. On that note I say adieu and stumble off to bed.

Hawkhorse? Horseeye?

This is embarrassingly addicting, ya'll. I think Loki or Captain America may be next (with a request for the Hulk somewhere in there too XD)...

I've been discovering that this particular paper has a tooth to it that makes the colored bits look slightly speckled. This makes it a bit difficult to make the colors blend to a satisfactory point (I got a little lazy on the collar of the vest), so between layering dozens of colors (chestnut coat colors are kinda complex) and blending with the paper stumps this is the result of several hours. Sigh.

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I have a slight complaint to make...I almost posted this on Facebook, but thought it might make some people feel guilty. Here, however, I can say what I like. XD

Every time I mention Colorado, people feel this uncontrollable desire to go 'bet you're going to find a husband out there, hur hur' *wink wink* *nudge nudge* I mean, it's nice to know what everyone is thinking...but after the twentieth time it gets a little old. O.e

And for the record, I really don't plan on 'finding a catch' while I'm out there. (I know what they say about 'best-laid plans', but hear me out.) I don't talk about this, generally speaking, because I've felt caution about spewing my thoughts on the subject...but there's a guy here in town that I've had my eye on for a while ('a while' meaning 'several years'), but I thought he didn't know I existed so I've never said anything to anybody. Long story short, he knows I exist (at least XD) but thinks he's too old. Whatever. Seeing as how I'm leaving for the next five months I can't exactly say anything at this point either. With that in mind, I don't plan on 'finding someone' while I'm gone, because if all hopes and dreams come to fruition, I won't have to look outside of my hometown anyway.

Hope is a dangerous thing, folks...that's all I gotta say about it. And that's not to say that all my 'hopes and dreams' will even come about, but dangit, it's nice to have a faint thread of hope sometimes.