96% and Teh Wadester

That's my latest exam score...away with you, Microsoft Word! On to Medical Transcription Professional Tools! 

Seriously. This is the second class I've taken for Microsoft Word. It's getting more than a little old. But on to better things...

My fingers now have little shiny callouses that make me happy. I can't play guitar for more than 30-45 minutes at a time still, but at least it doesn't hurt like it did.

The trip to Florida was very fast and was over almost as soon as it began...but I highly enjoyed it. Even though the original apartment was on the third floor. And there was much running up and down the three stories. I felt very fit (until I came home and ate 3 cinnamon rolls. They were amazing. :3). And there was much Wade-ness along the way.

Have I mentioned before that I really like my nephew? XD He was motoring around the house and apartment like he'd been doing it forever and pulling himself up on things...he's not walking yet, but it's only a matter of time.

See? See??

Oh, and he likes echoing rooms and hallways. But not moving. Moving upsets him a lot. XD Once there was stuff in the house he was better about it...but still.

Doesn't he have pretty eyes? :3

Ahem. Anyway. 

 The entire time I was gone it rained and got stinkin COLD. But it was hot and humid in Florida. So I guess I can never be satisfied when it comes to weather.

The herb garden seems to be doing well, and someone got ahold of a tractor tire for a strawberry bed. I don't remember mentioning it before...but I've been on the lookout for a tractor tire in order to build a raised contained garden bed. I have yet to figure out who found one, but I am duly impressed with the monstrous thing. Time to plant teh strawberries... *glee*

Oh! While in Florida I acquired a really pretty dress and an awesome book called 'The World's Great Letters'. Be expecting a more thorough run-down on both, once I take some pictures. (I'm not much of a dress person normally, but I'd like to change that; whereas the bibliophile thing just comes with the territory. I likes mah books.)

Upon looking back this was simultaneously the most laconic and rambly of any post I've written, I think. O.e Next week should see some more focused posting. Maybe. If I can get my act together.

In the meantime good night, and I leave you with this song that's been going through my head for days:

{'fine by me' by andy grammar}

Flavored Sugar

It's 10:15 at night, and I'm sucking on the flavored sugar from my cough drop fail. Methinks this is rather sad and totally unhealthy...but it's delicious so I shall continue. :p

There was a huge storm that just missed us earlier tonight--in retrospect I should have gotten pictures. The clouds during the sunset were incredible. I call them 'popcorn clouds', because they look something like this:

[picture courtesy of Google Images]

They're kinda freaky and always precede bad weather. The weather in question went to the south, but carried large hail, wind, and tons of lightning with it. Yeah...I should have gotten pictures. *sighs*

Today I found out that my services are required down in Florida...I'm going on a whirlwind trip this weekend to help my brother and sister-in-law move to their new house. It was unexpected, random, and will probably result in my being worked mercilessly, but I'm looking forward to it. I haven't seen their new house yet, and by golly I miss my nephew. XD He's hit that stage where he's mobile and adorable but can't speak, so it's always an adventure translating what he's trying to say and do. 

Yeah, I'm looking forward to this impromptu trip. :p I'm stocking up my ipod with Sherlock episodes and more music for the flight...mwahaha.

Guitar-playing is coming painfully along. I can now play the chords to 'Misery' by Maroon 5, and a handful of church songs. My left fingertips are permanently throbbing from the overuse. *scorns weak skin*

I'm not feeling particularly introspective tonight...it's more of a 'this is a good night so let's spread the general happiness' sort of evening. I'll probably not be back on til I get back from Florida, so consider this my official farewell. I shall get pictures and stories etc...good night...

180: An American Holocaust

There is a short 33 minute film, made in the summer of 2011, that highlights the fact that America is in the middle of a holocaust. Around 3700 children are killed each day under the politically-correct label of 'choice'--it's public, legal, and the 'right' for women to opt to kill their unborn children through abortion is defended daily.

I find it interesting that we live in a country where, if a pregnant woman is killed, the murderer is charged with a double homicide; but if she opts to kill her child in the name of convenience, it's totally fine and she is encouraged to do so.

The rape/incest and health reasons arguments are misleading, because they count on the idea that the majority of abortions are performed on women who have become impregnated through violent means, or that they will die should they try to carry the baby to term (as in an ectopic pregnancy). The reality is that less than 1% of abortions are performed on victims of rape or incest, and less than 6% on women who are in health emergencies. A staggering 93% of abortions are for social reasons or convenience.

Another assumption concerning the rape argument is that a woman who has a child conceived in such circumstances will be constantly reminded of those circumstances and loathe their child as a result. I ask: should a baby be punished for the sins of his father? What is worse, rape or murder? Who are we to predict what kind of a person that child may be? It also assumes that the mother will be 'forced' to raise her child. There are millions of couples in the United States alone that are on waiting lists for adoption. It's interesting that having a 'choice' seems to be mean 'choice to have an abortion', rather than adoption.

I could continue for ages...this is a subject I'm more than a little passionate about. If you haven't seen 180 yet, I highly recommend it. Yes, it's 33 minutes long...but it's a well-spent half hour. Plus, if you haven't seen it you can't argue against it. :p

Mah finners hurt....

The tips are currently wrapped in bandaids. I can feel blisters forming. And this is why I shouldn't take breaks from playing guitar.

It's been about two years since I played said guitar. I learned a few chords, a couple of arpeggio-type techniques, and a handful of Beatles songs. Nothing too difficult or involved. And now I'm trying to pick it up again...the left fingertips are tender and unprepared for the onslaught I've unleashed on them over the past two days. It's really sad...but at least they aren't bleeding.

After a week or two they'll be nice and calloused again. For now... *sucks on fingers and whimpers*

The herb garden has had seeds planted in it, but the rest is on hold. According to the almanac the last day of frost was the 20th...but we've had at least one frost since then. And I don't want my tender little plants to die from the cold--so they're inside, still in their little pots. In the meantime I'm waiting for the seeds to start germinating and growing--I pulled up a spearmint root from the ditch in town and put it in a large pot on the patio by itself. That won't have any problems taking off, I'm sure. 

 

The last time I planted spearmint it was in with some other plants, and within a summer it had completely taken over the entire patch (and still pokes its head up in the yard). So it's in isolation this time--I believe I have learned my lesson. XD

In other news...I'm tired tonight. And my feet (and fingers) hurt very badly. So it's time for bed. Tomorrow I may attempt to make the cough drops again--if I get them started early enough I should have them finished before I leave for work. (This is a very big 'maybe'.)

Anyway. Good night folks...

Five Current Obsessions

This is an attempt to follow the pattern of a blog post I saw recently by a friend of mine. I can't take credit for the idea, but imitation is the highest form of flattery, yes? :p

{one}

 Fan-music score for The Hunger Games

Whenever I want to create something, browse the net, etc, I run through this playlist. I like the music here better than the scores for the official movie...and it helps me think better than music with words. (I'm listening to it now, actually. XD)

{two}

Horse-back Riding

Endurance riding, specifically, but this is the most recent picture of me on the horse (taken sometime in January?). One of the things about being a solitary rider is that there's hardly ever someone to get photographic evidence of the fact that yes, I did go for a 2-hour ride, thank-you-very-much. Lugging around a DSLR-wanna-be camera isn't the greatest idea when trotting and loping most of the time.

There has been monsoon weather and tons of work for the past several days, so no riding. But lots of tying the horse out and letting her graze (when she's not getting soaked and chilled by the cold wind and requiring me to go out and dry her off. It was an interesting weekend, to say the least.)

{three}

The Hobbit

 

December 14th! Only 7 months away! I've been waiting for this since 2005! *spazzflailsplodes*

Ahem. Yes, as a good little Lord of the Rings fan I've been expecting this...and it's finally coming. *glee* AND it's got all these fantastic actors that I've come to know in other movies/shows, and it's going to be AMAZING. :3

{four}

Herbal Remedies

{picture of cough tea courtesy of the bulk herb store}

 For the past several days (couple of weeks?) I've been spending hours reading and researching herbs and recipes online and in books. I've been fascinated with herbal remedies for several years, and dabbled in making some salves and teas. But this year, I have an herb garden actually planned, and have been reading voraciously about the uses of different herbs. Every day I seem to focus on a different one--last week I looked at nettle, comfrey, chamomile, dandelion, and lemon balm at some point or another.

I've even tried making something other than salves--and even though the first few tries have been either failures or a bit mediocre I still want to keep trying. It all kind of started when I was trying desperately to think of something to do other than mope in the evenings (believe me, the temptation to pour a pot of tea and do nothing but feel sorry for myself is a daily thing at night). I used to know quite a bit, but taking a break made me forget a lot of what I knew. And thinking about the different uses for lemon balm is much more interesting than hyperfocusing on feeling wronged and angry and depressed.

I mean...I still do. But not as much or as often. Herbal stuff has a way of making things a little bit better.

{five}
Keeping Busy

No picture for this one, unfortunately. But lately I've been like a perpetual motion machine -- I'm fine as long as I keep moving. I'm happy, cheerful, slightly manic (bit of a Rocky moment there), and fine as long as I'm busy and have something to do.

But at home...when it's quiet and everyone's gone to bed and it's just me and my thoughts...the perpetual motion machine starts to break down. I don't cry (as much) like I used to. But I'm afraid of going to bed before 11 PM because my thoughts stew and simmer and the hollowness of knowing that someone didn't think I was worth it enough to back up his promises hurts. It may be his problems or issues that drove him to that. But it's still a reflection of his regard (or lack thereof) for me.

I guess the words 'I love you' don't mean much when you're just 'dreaming about the future'. But I digress.

Cough Drop Fail

Saturday evening, due to being filled with a chicken dinner fundraiser, was a very full one. But I was inspired upon coming home to try and make some herbal cough drops--two of the girls helping at the dinner had a horrendous cold complete with a terrible sore throat, and I had a recipe...and who wouldn't want to make cough drops? XD

I found the recipe on Instructables.com, and tried to follow it faithfully. The herbal blend was ginger root and lemon balm (it made a very nice tea--lemony and a little warm and spicy for the aftertaste), made into about 2 cups of tea. So things were going good...the sugar and tea came to a boil and started heating up...it looked like it was coming along nicely...

The recipe called for a temperature of 300 degrees (the hard crack stage) before pouring the syrup into molds. But it hit 260, and went from a syrup to bone-dry granulated sugar within about 40 seconds. Observe:

I apologize for the graininess of the image--it was taken with a webcam at 10:45 PM.

But see what I mean? It was like rock candy! Hardly the cute little lozenges I was expecting. But I think I know what went wrong.

~The sugar to tea ratio was 1:1 instead of 2:1 (as it would be in a normal hard candy recipe)

~Since the ratio was less, it probably needed to only go to the hard ball stage (250-265F)

~The thermometer may have been (most likely was) inaccurate

Next time I'll make the necessary adjustments and try again, carefully. In the meantime the sugar has been used to sweeten tea and made into sugar scrub. Yes, I can be thrifty and a recycler too, thank you very much. :p

Herb Garden Plans...

Said plans are coming together nicely--yesterday I bought a bunch of seeds and plant starts, and today the bed-building/planting begins. So far for the plants, the only things I'm missing are St. John's wort and marsh mallow. But they aren't total necessities yet...so attention can be put towards the other plants for now.

And here's what I got!

(And they're even labeled for reading convenience.)

I thought the mallow was a perennial marshmallow, but it turns out that it's some kind of annual hybrid.

(For the unaware: perennial means that it comes back every year, annual mean that it only lives for one year and needs to be planted again.)

Everything else should be a go, though. The bed is marked out in the back--it just needs railroad ties for its boundaries and compost brought over to build it up. And planting, of course. But that's the fun part.

The stevia up top is going to have to go into a pot--I found out after buying it that it's very, very sensitive to cold and frost of any kind. *chalks up another tally for 'research before buying'*

Anyway...so that's what's going on today. But now, it is naptime...I love Sundays. :p

*EDIT*

I have my herb garden built! It's made with railroad ties and compost from the dung heap--er, barnyard pile of wealth. XD If wealth was measured by manure, we'd be rich, that's all I'm saying. So here's a picture of the raised bed:

The fence is the edge of the horse pasture, and if I had turned around and taken another picture it would have been of the vegetable garden. This is a good 40-50 feet away, and should keep any particularly obnoxious herbs from spreading. ;) I'll leave this unplanted for a few days so it can settle, add more dirt, and then plant everything! *happy dance*

Rambabbling...

Yes, I just made up a word. Get used to it. XD

I'm finding that it's really hard to stay on track with the drawing challenge, just due to plain busy-ness. I'm trying to plot and plant an herb garden, clean houses, work a second job, ride the horse, and keep on top of the stuff that's happening within the family/taking up the evenings. I haven't ridden all week simply from being so exhausted when I finally get home. So...Imma stop the drawings for a bit. :/

I saw a certain person's doppelganger yesterday while at work. It simultaneously freaked me out, threw me for a major loop, and made me want to yell at him even though this guy was just some poor random stranger. And then I went home and cried for two hours. -.- Plus today was the certain person's birthday, and it was just a poor combination of triggers. Nergh.

Regarding work: I'm rather enjoying it. It's part-time, so 25 hours was spent slogging away...actually, it's pretty easy stuff. The 'worst part' is that I'm on my feet the entire time, but after working for the farrier and standing for upwards of 8-10 hours a day, this is a breeze. I've also discovered that I'm starved for human interaction beyond going to church--I mean, it's great that we have a church family etc. But I don't get to 'hang out' with people I like because they're busy--and that's fine. It's just that sometimes I have a little pity party because there is a bare handful of people that I like to associate and talk with and they have the audacity to have LIVES. *cue sarcasm*

Read that in a tongue-in-cheek fashion, please.

So work. I have a monetary goal when I turn 21, and just cleaning houses was not going to get me there. So I got a job at the local Dairy Queen. (Hey. Hey. Get rid of that raised eyebrow or I'll slap it off your face. It's WORK, right?) 

(I get weirdly defensive when I tell people where I'm employed. Ees something I gotta work on, I guess.)

Work, being starved for human interaction...it's all a day in the life, I suppose. And the herb garden--I have a little plot marked out, and plans to strip back the sod, lay down railroad ties, and build up a raised bed with compost-dirt before actually planting anything. I transplanted three little comfrey plants that had volunteered in the horse pasture yesterday and stuck them next to the main patch so I can keep an eye on them. They're a little wilted today, but not drying out or overly limp so they should come out of it.

The rest of the herb garden will (hopefully) occupy an 8'x4' area along one fence of the horse pasture. And the list of what I want to plant is growing rather long. So far:

Lavendar

Sage

Catnip

Lemon balm

Chamomile

St. John's wort

Thyme

Stevia (in an indoor pot)

Calendula

Echinacea

Feverfew

Yarrow

Dill

Oregano

Plus the random patches of red clover, nettles, peppermint and spearmint, roses, and raspberries. This is taking on a life of its own...or will be, once everything is in and planted. It's a matter of figuring out what is non-invasive and putting that within the railroad ties, and potting/planting elsewhere all the invasive stuff. In the meantime it's a blast researching stuff and figuring out what would be the most useful to plant. I also have plans for trying to make flower jelly (specifically clover or dandelion), starting tinctures, and drying herbal teas. If I can develop a taste for stevia in plant form, it'd be nice to get away from using sugar in my tea in the mornings (two heaping spoonfuls for a pot--not that much, but it's the principle of the matter, goshdarnit).

So yeah. If you read through the convoluted random rabbit trails, I applaud you. I never really plan any of this--it's just relaxing to sit down and write whatever comes to mind. I have a journal for writing by hand, but I type so much faster than I write that it's way easier to write on the computer. There's this idea for writing journal posts on the computer and then copying them by hand into the journal...but I'm not sure how well that'd work.

Oh, speaking of rabbit trails the dog discovered a nest of baby rabbits yesterday. They're less than 2 weeks old and still have their eyes closed--but he's taken to raiding the nest and carrying baby bunnies carefully around the yard before we discover what he's doing and put them back. *facepalm* He doesn't try to kill them, but he's absolutely fascinated by them and keeps wanting to carry them around. We're having to keep an eye on him so he doesn't keep going back and scarring the mother/babies for life. 

...and back to your regular programming...

It's late. Tomorrow is Saturday, which means I get to sleep in a bit. *glee* Going all the time is starting to wear a bit. Plus I haven't ridden the horse since last Thursday and the guilt is laying on thick...tomorrow isn't looking so great for riding either. Sigh. Here's to taking a deep breath before the plunge.

Herbology and Nettle Ramblings

The other day, after drawing the daily picture, a couple hours were spent obsessing over the nettle plant. A good way to tell that I'm a geek is that when my coworkers are talking about the latest TV show episodes I'm thinking about herbal remedies and plant properties. *facepalm* 

And drinking green tea while studying plant properties is an excellent antidepressant. Just sayin'. 

My focus on the nettle plant was first inspired by a quote in Les Miserables, where Victor Hugo is waxing eloquent upon the virtues of said plant:

"One day he saw some country people busily engaged in pulling up nettles; he examined the plants, which were uprooted and already dried, and said: 'They are dead. Nevertheless, it would be a good thing to know how to make use of them. When the nettle is young, the leaf makes an excellent vegetable; when it is older, it has filaments and fibres like hemp and flax. Nettle cloth is as good as linen cloth. Chopped up, nettles are good for poultry; pounded, they are good for horned cattle. The seed of the nettle, mixed with fodder, gives gloss to the hair of animals; the root, mixed with salt, produces a beautiful yellow coloring-matter. Moreover, it is an excellent hay, which can be cut twice. And what is required for the nettle? A little soil, no care, no culture. Only the seed falls as it is ripe, and it is difficult to collect it. That is all. With the exercise of a little care, the nettle could be made useful; it is neglected and it becomes hurtful. It is exterminated. How many men resemble the nettle!' He added, after a pause: 'Remember this, my friends: there are no such things as bad plants or bad men. There are only bad cultivators.' " 

I first read the quote years ago, when reading Les Mis for the first time. I found it interesting, but not enough to study the plant and find out if this was really true about it.

Last night, all of that changed. *dramatic music*

(As a quick warning: I'm about to spout about the nettle. Feel free to leave while you still can. :p)

Blanching (steaming) or soaking the leaves relieves them of their sting, though they still need to be rinsed a few times to make sure that there are no stray stinging hairs left. After cooking it can be eaten like spinach and is full of vitamin A, C, iron, potassium, and calcium. It can also be made into a tea and drunk to help make skin clearer or hair shinier. Drying completely (for 24 hours) also can get rid of the sting.

My real interest for now, however, is its textile capabilities. The only nettles I know to find around here are in a ditch that contains runoff from surrounding fields...said runoff is filled with pesticides, herbicides, etc and I feel sick just thinking about eating anything that is saturated in those conditions. So my curiosity has been piqued instead with the idea of spinning the fibers--my mom has a drum carding machine and a portable spinning wheel that would help to work towards that goal.

I found a website that details how to harvest nettle fibers through a method called root retting. There are no pictures, and it seems to have been discovered through trial and error. While keeping that in mind, it also seems like it'd be a very interesting challenge to undertake. And if I ever have a location where I can plant or harvest nettle from a clean, non-pesticide-saturated source, I can try the actual ingesting part of using nettles. Until then...I think I'll pass.

On an interesting side note, apparently nettle fibers were spun and used until the mid-19th century and even in WWI during the ensuing cotton shortages (probably because it was cheaper and way more plentiful than flax or cotton). Part of the waste not want not mentality, perhaps? I don't really know...but I really wish that people would preserve these methods and ideas and abilities for other people to learn and use. 

It reminds me of the old Foxfire books--it's a series of several books, filled with interviews collected in the '70s by a group of college students/researchers that were trying to preserve some of the 'old ways'. Most of the interviewees are ancient, crusty old folks way off in the mountains somewhere...but they had a LOT to say about the 'old way' of doing things and, while some of those things are amusing in their antiquity there's quite a lot of practical advise on self-sufficiency too. 

But back to the nettle.

I've scoped out a little clump in the ditch that's coming up--it looks to be a couple feet high, with no sign of flowers yet. I'm going to keep an eye on it and see about how to harvest it without stinging the crap out of myself -- I hear a lot about using gloves and scissors, but I'm thinking more like a hazmat suit. XD

Oh! I failed to mention that nettle is an excellent composting material too. After pulling/cutting a plant and letting it dry in the sun for a few days, it can be added to a compost pile to increase the nitrogen and silicon. I'm thinking of making a compost pile for the eventual herb garden (for now there's just a patch of comfrey well away from the rest of the garden because it's rather invasive, but I'd like to get some railroad ties and make a nice raised bed for everything else) and even the normal garden.

...I think I have way too many ideas and way too little time to do them. *shakes head* I need to start making a list, buckling down, and actually DOING stuff rather than just talking about them.

30 Day Drawing Challenge -- Day 15

Day 15 -- Family Picture

A dragon family, of course! XD No humans for now. I haven't drawn dragons in ages...and I think I miss drawing with pens. Sitting down with a plain Bic pen and whipping out a sketchy drawing is very satisfying (as well as a fun exercise--I have some goofy Bilbo drawings floating around somewhere that were drawn with just a pen).

I'm losing inspiration, methinks. Considering that tomorrow's picture prompt is 'Inspiration', this is a problem. *facepalm* I can't use the excuse 'I just don't have time', though, because spending a couple hours every night cruising on the internet definitely counts for extra time. It's a matter of getting used to working for an average of 7-8 hours a day, and then figuring out where to fit everything else. *feels rather spoiled in regards to work*

Be looking for a nettle-related rant in the future. It's the plant I've decided to become obsessed with for a while. :p

30 Day Drawing Challenge -- Day 14

Day 14 -- Favorite Fairy Tale

I can't hear the phrase 'fairy tale' without thinking of a Disney movie. So this is a slightly obscure tale/fable from Korea called The Tiger's Whisker--it's a short little read, so ya'll can read it here instead of listening to my description of what it's about: http://www.storiestogrowby.com/stories/tiger_wh_korea.html (This is a slightly different version from the one I've read in The Book of Virtues. But who cares. Also, I like drawing tigers more than I like drawing people. XD)

I've noticed that my drawings have been getting sloppier the longer I continue with this challenge. I think taking a 2-week break may have been a slight mistake in that regard...and now I've got a second job plus cleaning houses. I'm very glad for this job, but it's definitely cutting into the time I can spend on 'extra' stuff (riding, art, etc). Which is why it's 11 PM and I'm not in bed yet--that's not terribly unusual, but it's a bad habit I've gotten in the pattern of indulging. >.< 

And on that note, it is bedtime...and my stomach hurts. Forgetting to eat is a bad idea. >.<

30 Day Drawing Challenge -- Day 13

Day 13 -- Comic

I don't do comics. Well...I do. But ones that are strange and only I find them funny (which is why the dialogue between me and Javert about the upcoming Les Mis movie is not the comic for today. XD) Instead, enjoy the mental image of a bird with a french fry.

Since this blog tends to have more background and chit-chat than I can put up on, say, Facebook and its shadow ilk, here's the comic with dialogue between me and Javert. If you don't find it funny, you're not the first. :p

 ...I used to write lots of little comics with me and Javert conversing within the stick-figure medium. Most of them were dumb and didn't make much sense--I see that I haven't lost the knack yet. 

(I was also quite lonely back in those days, hence the imaginary dialogues. I'm not sure if it's sad or enviable to have had an imaginary friend/antagonist like that.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On a side note, this song has been going through my head for the past few days:

I have a rather eclectic taste in music, what can I say? 

"And she said I don't hate you, boy
I just want to save you
While there's still something left to save..." 

30 Day Drawing Challenge -- Day 12

Day 12 -- Most Recent Accomplishment

Also known as, 'Taking a Break from the Wacom Tablet'. It isn't totally done yet...but it IS my most recent accomplishment aside from the desk. And bridge-burning. (For the past week I've been staring at the 'Most Recent Accomplishment' prompt and getting totally overwhelmed. Sigh.)

Sorry for the hiatus, folks--hopefully I'll be back on schedule from here on out.

Truth or Pander?

“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

This is the thought I have kept coming back to for the past couple of weeks. If I adopted this way of thinking for a motto, in theory I would just say and do whatever I felt was the right thing to do. This would also mean that if people protested for whatever reason, I can ignore what they say because if they mind, they don't matter. Right?

If I went around telling the absolute naked truth whenever asked, I would probably end up pushing some people away. This begs the question: does that mean they were only superficial friends to begin with, and only wanted to be associated with me if I was nice and sweet all the time? In that case, perhaps one is better off to not be friends with such people.

To take a quote from a book called 'Spiritual Friendship': “Therefore, as Ambrose says, 'if you detect some vice in your friend, correct him privately; if he does not listen, correct him publicly. For corrections are good, and often better than an unresponsive friendship. Should a friend think he is being wronged, correct him nonetheless. Even if his soul is wounded by the bitterness of correction, correct him nonetheless. Wounds from a friend are better than the fraudulent kisses of an enemy.' Therefore, correct an erring friend. But in correction, above all avoid anger and bitterness of spirit. Otherwise you may seem to wish not to amend a friend so much as to vent your own spleen.” [emphasis mine]

(I think I'm rather more aware of the last bit now than I was a few weeks ago.)

But my intention is not to focus solely on telling the truth in friendship. My question is, should we tell the truth all the time, no matter what the consequences?

This doesn't mean that I'm about to go around telling everyone what to do. But if asked, I'm feeling less and less inclined to smile and say 'oh, whatever you think is best'. 

I don't want to be that person who panders to what people want to hear, instead of what they need to hear.

And I want people to tell me the truth too. If I do something that makes another person hurt/angry/upset/etc, I want them to tell ME instead of running around telling everyone else my newest transgression while I sit there thinking everything's hunky-dory. 

It's something I need to work on--I don't always go directly to the person that hurt or insulted me. But that doesn't mean it's a good way of handling things.

Concerning public correction: if one goes to a friend and says 'you really ought to work on this', and the friend says 'okay' but never changes...is that a reason to correct them publicly? For some people it takes a huge, drastic, outside influence to make them see that they need to change. Is that a friend's place, or are we just supposed to toss our hands up and say 'well, whatever'? 

I'm truly asking for people's opinions here, by the by. I'm not scattering these thoughts around just to see how big of a mess I can make.

C'est un bebe!

My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew have been visiting for the last week. And aside from the spring cold that's afflicted them, it's been a good visit.

See de bebe!

 Earlier this week before it rained I took him out in the yard. He hasn't seen much in the way of grass and was utterly fascinated by it.

(That is, when he wasn't wallowing around in my lap and trying to conquer crawling over my leg. XD)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On a side note, I got my desk painted and moved into my room. It doesn't look that big, but it's 32" by 60". I love it. *glee*

Sometime I need to set up the sewing machine and test that out height-wise. (And fix the serger...and finish the bajillion sewing projects around the house... *cries*)

For now, having a desk to sit at instead of crouching on my bed has been a major back-saver (when I remember not to slouch, anyway. *adjusts posture*). And yes, my room is very blue. Except for the curtains, which are burgundy with embroidered flowers. 

I'd say that I'm a bit on the dramatic side, but my room seems to have been an outlet for said drama while I remain relatively level-headed. Go figure.

This desk was an opportunity to try out a project idea I had saved on Pinterest--the paint is home-made chalk paint (latex base mixed with Plaster of Paris), and the desk was free. It makes me happeh.

Courage and Creativity

Today in my email inbox, I had two updates from writers. The first concerned a 'pep talk' kind of letter from the folks at ScriptFrenzy (which I signed up for, but did not attempt this year) called 'Fools Know the Way'. The second was from Jeff Goins, and called 'You Have to Be a Little Crazy to Be Creative'.

The basic idea of both was that we have to be courageous and unafraid in order to be creative. Because let's face it, anyone who creates anything is going to be smacked down, told they can't succeed, or worse at some point in their life. 

I think I'm getting better. But sometimes I'm still afraid to speak up, put myself out there, or continue onward when someone says 'You can't think/say that, someone might get offended.' 'That idea is wrong because of x.' 'It's not your business to feel that way.'

I suppose my mentality has less to do with creativity and more to do with figuring out the messiness of life. But life is creative, right? Even if we aren't intentionally creative, we are all creating and forming and molding--not just physical objects, but ourselves and the way we impact the people around us.

So while we should be conscious of the way we affect people, getting scared of affecting people the 'wrong way' (whatever that means) and earning their wrath, disgust, etc is a lesser way to live. The conundrum remains: be afraid of people and 'what they can do', or be bold and courageous and creative?

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."

Proverbs 29:25

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Matthew 5:11-12

I guess that pretty much says it all right there. :p

(I'm not claiming to be persecuted at this very moment...but it's encouraging to know that persecution is not necessarily a bad thing when it has to do with being truthful and defending something that's right. Ya know?)

On a side note, when I looked up the 'fear of man will prove to be a snare' part there was a digression talking about how a snare can be either a noose or a hook (implied to be a hook for the nose). Just thinking about being stuck in a noose or having a hook through the nose is cringe-worthy--and when in pain or fear, we as people are completely helpless and respond to the whims of our 'captors', or the people who inspire fear. It's just the way we work.

Being afraid of what other people think is a crippling way to live. I've seen it--and experienced it to some degree. But I'm trying not to be afraid anymore. Say it like it is, hold up the truth, and God will take care of the rest. 

Here goes. :)

Endurance Update

A few weeks ago I posted a list of goals for riding the horse...so consider this a follow-up on how that has been panning out.

Almost immediately after that post, I started working on the dressage part. I haven't ridden 'long distance' for quite a while, actually, but lunging the horse and riding for upwards of an hour every other day has been helping to build up her endurance. I'm not sure how far I go in an hour when going around in circles in the pasture...but she's always soaked in sweat by the end. We've been working on correct leads for the canter, and let's just say that she hasn't quite got it yet. -.-

Then a week ago she got what I thought was a scabby cut on her right heel. Because I wasn't sure what it was (rope burn, cut, infection, etc) I didn't ride her for several days. 

It turns out she has scratches (layman's term for a bacterial infection). So I was letting her rest for nothing, really, but I'm sure she appreciated the break. I've been treating it with black walnut and my comfrey salve, and it's clearing up very nicely.

But back to the endurance riding. XD

My brother and sister-in-law have been visiting for the past week, and my brother has been wanting a running partner. I don't run at all (read: I HATE to run), but had the brilliant idea yesterday of riding the horse with him, just to get out of the pasture. 

Yesterday we ran 3.5 miles, and today 5.5 miles. The hilarious part is that Colletta is raring to go for about the first 1/2-3/4 of the distance, and then she gets tired and blows and snorts and walks for a bit. Then after walking for a quarter mile or so, she's ready to run again. I'm not sure how many cycles of running/walking she could do, but for right now I'm very happy with how she's shaping up. ^-^

The first distance of 3.5 miles we covered in 50 minutes (we could have gone faster, but Isaac was running with the dog and ended up dragging said dog after said dog got tired. Sigh.), and today's 5.5 miles we covered in about an hour and 20 minutes. I'm not exactly sure how great that is for a time to distance ratio...but hey, as long as we make it and no one dies along the way we're doing good. I'll worry about time later.

I would also like to add that my brother is a beast, and could probably run the horse into the ground if he wanted to. O.o I feel like a bit of a wuss in comparison.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In other news...I have some pictures of my nephew that I'll probably post in the next few days. And the picture challenge has been hovering over my head, but I just got another job and I can't promise that I'll be able to finish it. ^^; I know it's just a matter of sitting down and 'doing it', but there's school and work and horse riding and garden and GEH. I may have to compromise on quality in order to finish.

Thoughts on social issues and with a philosophical bent are still banging around in my head...I tried to sit down and write an essay/article kinda thing, but ended up looking at all the word-vomit on my screen and not knowing where in the world to start editing. Blargh. Maybe some other time.

In the meantime...I'm off to visit wif de family and may or may not be back in the next few days. XD

*ahem*

Apologies for blipping out, random Internet folks...but hopefully things have calmed down and suchness. O.e

I stopped the daily drawings, but WILL finish that for sure. It's just a matter of...y'know...sitting down and doing them. Sigh.

So in the past week or so that I've been out of the loop, I've obtained a desk (for free!) and painted said desk. It's HUGE. And amazing. I can't wait to stick it in my room. *glee*

Tomorrow I have a job interview--we're still cleaning houses of course, but I need a bit more income on the side. Second job, here we come!

A friend invited me over to her house twice last week--both she and her mom have been indispensable in helping me get out of this rut of 'woe is me', plus I really enjoy talking with them about theology and general life stuff. They have a beautiful church where I went for their Good Friday service...plus they feed me cookies whenever I go over to her house. What is it with all the cookies? :p (Just kidding, they're delicious.)

In other news...I've had lots of thoughts banging around in my head. But when it comes time to write them down, the subject matter is too controversial, vitriolic in nature (due to the occasional flashes of anger--I've never had anger issues before O.o), or I don't know enough about it. So instead of spouting online, it helps to read and research and maybe jot down a few notes for me personally.

I've been toying with the thought lately (inwardly) that 'those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind', and thinking of using it for an excuse to say whatever I feel like, without regard for feelings or other people's opinions. That is, not gossiping or spouting untruths, but saying the truth and actually standing for it no matter who gets offended. And while in theory that can be a noble idea, in practice it's a lot trickier and harder to navigate. This is especially hard when I stir up some crap, and then think later during the backlash that I'm tired of defending my position to people that really don't matter that much anyway.

The balance to strike, I suppose, is knowing when to stick to the truth no matter what, and when to bow out gracefully.

But if Jesus is to be our standard...He wasn't exactly one to 'bow out gracefully'. When people did something wrong, He called them out (and used some pretty strong language at times to do so--calling hypocritical people 'sons of snakes', 'whitewashed tombs', and overturning tables doesn't exactly smack of meek and mild. I appreciate that Jesus WAS meek (which is not synonymous with mild, by the by), but He was also strong and decisive).

So...hold one's tongue in the matter of truth, or call people out and hold to a standard? My main problem is sticking to a standard of truth in my mind, but holding back verbally a lot of the time unless something is way out of line.

Urgh. Convoluted thoughts are convoluted. I need to start writing my thoughts more so they don't just pour out all lumpy and confusing. Essays may be in order.

In the meantime...have a blessed Easter, folks, and hopefully things will be back up and running soon.