The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (review)

  

Well. After a year of squealing, watching production videos, watching trailers, and working myself into a lather of fangirling, I finally saw The Desolation of Smaug. Because I'm a nit-picker, this review will mostly be concerned with details and rabbit trails of ranting.

And let me tell you, the ranting will be something to behold. But on with the review!

Home Again, Home Again

As the title says, I am now home! There's been a LOT of stuff packed into this trip, the drive home, and wrapping it up while at home, so have a recap list thingy until I can get my act together and post pictures.

 

1. I took family pictures for two families and did an engagement shoot over Thanksgiving weekend.

 

This means that I have a ton of pictures. Fortunately, I've got them all edited and organized on my computer at home; unfortunately, I'm now at work and separated from my laptop. (For those of you that may be concerned that I'm slacking on my job, all it consists of is cleaning and answering the phone. Since cleaning is done, I'm sitting next to the phone awaiting phone calls with bated breath.)

 

The engagement shoot was for Lydiana's brother Gabi and his fiancé Abi. Let me just tell you now that they are freakin' adorable and I can't WAIT to do the post for them. We went to a reserve a couple of minutes from the Acevedo's house, and it was an absolute pleasure to shoot. I'm just waiting for Abi to get the 'save the date' stuff selected and posted on her end before I start throwing pictures all over the place.

 

2. Thanksgiving was spent at my brothers' in-laws, which was strange and fun at the same time.

 

I say 'strange' because for as long as I can remember my family has spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my grandparents down the street. Since they're both gone as of last February, this means that we're having to create some new traditions that don't involve seeing close family.

 

I say 'fun' because my best friend Emily Rose is married to my brother's brother-in-law, and the other brother-in-law is the one who had the photo shoot, and everything was delightfully mixed and I got to see people that I haven't seen in months/years. I also stayed with Emily and Obi, took pictures of them, went to Mount Dora (which is a whole whopping 107 feet above sea level!), and generally had a blast.

 

3. After Thanksgiving I drove to see my friend Tricia on the East coast of Florida.

 

This meant driving all by myself the breadth of Florida, and aside from the excitement of getting to see Tricia for the first time in a year I had the strange feeling of freedom and independence that comes from driving to an unfamiliar place alone.

 

Seeing Tricia was AWESOME. She and I have kept in contact via letters and occasional phone calls for the better part of three years, and she is that brutally honest friend that is so gentle and sweet about the way that she unfolds that brutal honesty that instead of off-putting it's very endearing. My biggest regret is not getting any pictures of her, because she was 37 weeks pregnant. There was a moment of trepidation where the baby dropped during my stay, and I wasn't sure if there was going to be a surprise early baby. Thankfully that did not happen, and she's still trucking along towards 40 weeks.

 

We basically spent the whole visit drinking tea and talking. I think both of us needed the opportunity to catch up. XD

 

4. On my way back across Florida from Tricia's, I got a phone call about another pregnant friend of mine.

 

Emily Rose's sister in law, Emily Lynn, went into labor around 5 AM that Sunday. By the time I got back to Isaac and Lydiana's place at 10:30 AM, she had delivered a baby girl at 33 weeks. Both are doing great, and I got to see both of them yesterday, but for a few hours it was pretty tense because we didn't know why she was going into premature labor. We still don't, but by the looks of things they will be going home in a couple of weeks.

 

5. Wade and Ben kept me crazy busy.

 

Enough said? XD

 

6. I started watching a new TV series (like I need another distraction in my life).

 

I've made it through 1 2/3 seasons of Once Upon a Time within 2 1/2 weeks. I've been truly too busy to pick it up again since coming home, but that may not necessarily be a bad thing.

 

7. The trip home was shared with another friend of mine, Jean Marie.

 

I hadn't seen Jean Marie for almost 2 years, and all I have to say is: THAT NEEDED TO STOP. Seriously. I never realize quite how much I missed her until I saw her last Saturday night, and it was like 'you fit a perfectly Jean-shaped hole in my life please don't go away'. Ya know what I mean? And while we have exchanged the occasional letter and comment on each other's Facebook posts and keep in contact that way, nothing replaces actual, face-to-face, REAL communication. I can't even describe it.

 

The whole trip home and consequent visit will have to be another post, because it was definitely an adventure in itself. Mwahaha.

 

You know, I'm liking this adventure-taking side into which my life has been morphing.

 

8. I've recently started working at the gym again.

 

I started Monday, as a matter of fact. A week or so before I came home from Colorado Mom called me to say that I had been offered the evening hours at the gym. Since I had nothing else lined up, I jumped on it and am now officially employed. Between cleaning houses and the gym, I should be set before May rolls around again.

 

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I think that wraps up the list-making...I'll be back with more posts and pictures later, but tonight/tomorrow will be my last days spent with Jean Marie and Shelby before Jean goes back to Florida, so don't expect anything before then. XD

Travel

This is probably going to turn into one of those late-night, rambly, somewhat nonsensical posts, so here goes.

The other day I had an almost irresistible desire to drive up to Virginia to visit Assateague and Chincoteague islands. For the uninformed, the book 'Misty of Chincoteague' by Marguerite Henry made those islands famous by writing about their ponies and the yearly pony event. I've wanted to visit every since I was a kid, but never thought I would have the opportunity to do so. Until now.

I can't go now, for several reasons. (Lack of funds tops the list, quickly followed by not enough time on the way home from Florida, and rounded off with not having someone to drive 1,000 miles to the original commonwealth.) But I've been noticing lately a growing desire to travel and go places I've never been before, just to say I did.

First it was Colorado. Now it's Florida and doing things on my own when not watching nephews (I'm going to go riding here within the next week or so, and I'm terribly excited at the prospect.). Later, who knows? Maybe driving up to Minnesota to see one of the girls from this summer, maybe taking the thousand-mile trip to Virginia and the Assateague ponies, probably going back to Colorado at some point...my restlessness is breaking out in the form of wanderlust and this unexplainable, irresistible, terrifying feeling of freedom that comes from going on these crazy trips.

I can't even explain why I'm restless. It has something to do with feeling unfocused and unattached to anyone or anything...add in a dash of being tired of living in a place that I can only describe as a dead-end, and there you have it. Don't get me wrong, I love my home. But with my brothers gone and Colletta gone and my friends moving away and not having any really close friends nearby, it almost seems better to travel and be alone of my own accord, rather than being held there by some sense of duty or being trapped.

(I use strong words sometimes, but mostly because I'm not taking the time to find a better word. So when I say 'trapped' and the like, it's with a bit of hyperbole rather than truly feeling forced to remain where I am.)

Traveling probably isn't the answer to the loneliness, but the way I look at it: I'm not going to be in this stage of life forever. Nowhere else will I have the freedom to go where I like and do what I want (within reason, of course). And I anticipate settling down eventually, but while I can still travel, I figure it can't hurt to indulge the drifter within.

(I think this is the first time in over a year I've used pictures that aren't mine. O.o Tumblr and Pinterest are awesome for wandering/traveling pictures.)

Florida Again

 (Like my new blog template/color/everything? It was time to brighten up and not be so dark.)

Once again, I'm in the sunny state of Florida. This came something as a spontaneous trip when my brother told me about how Lydiana has been having awful morning sickness (really all-day sickness) that prevents her from being able to do very much around the house. She has the nausea from her 8th week of pregnancy to around the 20th week, and it's triggered by anything from a scent to a motion (riding in the car is NOT good) to claustraphobia. Suffice to say, it's pretty awful.

There was talk of her going to stay with her parents for a while, simply because she couldn't take care of the house, and I volunteered to come down for a while just to help out. So, on November 4th Isaac flew up to Peoria, I met him at the airport with my car, and we drove down to Florida.

I probably didn't NEED to take my car, but I love the autonomy that it gives me. Should there be an emergency or anything like that, I'll have it on hand. And I just wanted to road-trip, dangit. Do I need an excuse? XD

I'll be here til the first week of December, and then my friend Jean Marie and I will be driving up together. I haven't seen her for almost 2 years, so I'm excited to see her *and* have the time to truly catch up.

The road trip was a lot of fun, actually. Isaac and I road-tripped back in 2010 from Arkansas to Florida (a couple of months before he met his wife, actually) so it wasn't a foreign concept to us. We were prepared to pull an all-nighter as well; Isaac took the last leg of the journey and we pulled in right at 6 AM. Talk about exhausting...but it was totally worth it. I've now got the traveling itch. Sigh.

Florida has been pretty good to me this time around...it's not hot, and it's not cool. Going barefoot and wearing shorts is perfect and I love it. Though my experience with the season over the last month or so has been odd: October in Colorado was like mid/late fall, in Illinois it was like the beginning of fall, and in Florida it feels like late summer/early fall. (And now it's snowing back at home. Go figure.)

The boys are pretty dang cute too--last time I saw Ben he was crawling, and Wade wasn't saying much (at least, not much that was understandable). Now Ben is walking all over the place and Wade has a huge vocabulary that grows every day...I'm hoping to make a video of them soon, because pictures really don't do them justice.

In other news...when I go back home I'll be working at the gym in the evenings for sure. At first I was going to start in January, and the guy I'm replacing left a bit sooner than expected. If I wasn't here in Florida I'd be working this month...but oh well. The beginning of December works too. Gym-wise I'm toying with trying to do some heavy lifting training just for the heck of it, but we'll see if anything actually comes out of that.

And I'm obsessed with popsicles again. There's nothing like a homemade popsicle to dent hunger or a munchy mood...yum. 

With that said, I'll be back soon with pictures and (hopefully) a video. Here's another video that I made for transition practice a couple of weeks ago.

Learning Video Stuffs...

Over the summer I was incredibly inspired by our photographer/videographer Josiah, a very talented young man when it comes to making videos and explaining his process in which he makes them. (Go follow his Instagram under the name josiahfilm. And his Vimeo. You won't be sorry.)

In light of that inspiration, I decided last week that I need to learn how to make good-quality videos, and understand a little more about film. I have Adobe Premiere for film editing, so over the last couple of days I've shot the film in the yard and strung together a couple of videos. They aren't anything outstanding, to be honest, but it's helping me to get a feel for the program. (And DANG, is it complicated. Thank goodness for the tutorials on the Adobe website.) 

I am working somewhat under pressure as well, because I just sent my re-application for Wind River in and something possessed me to apply for the photographer/videographer position after my default of wrangler. So we'll see what happens. In the meantime, I'm furiously learning this crazy program.

The second video I took of the rainy day and such, and put some neo-classical music to it. The effect...well, I'm not sure what I was going for, but the effect was hilariously dramatic. I can't even watch the thing without cracking up. In a facetious sort of way I posted it to Facebook, with the following caption:

"For the past few days I've been playing around with Adobe Premiere. I go out, take some video footage of random things in the yard, and toss together a little video to get a feel for the program and find out what recording size works the best. Most of the videos have been fall-themed, (a) because it's fall and (b) because I don't have any people to stalk.

Methinks I should get away from it for a while, though...this is the latest result and it's SO DRAMATIC. *may or may not be crying from laughing so hard*"

I thought the description was rather tongue-in-cheek, really, but I got several admiring comments for my talent. *sigh* That wasn't what I was going for, but oh well, that's how the worm turns, I guess.

If you're curious, here's the video in question. Feel free to laugh at the swelling music and artsy shots. XD

If You Want People to Hate Your Guts, Glue Your Carpet to the Floor

Our last week in Colorado I was given the dubious honor of helping pull up old, wet carpet from the basement of staff housing that smelled strongly of urine of some sort. (We thought cat initially, but decided later that it was far too fragrant and could only be from a bear. Whatever the culprit, the result was nasty.)

When we first started there were three of us: Tess, Moriah, and myself. We had volunteered for the job of pulling carpet and re-organizing Josiah's office in lieu of shoveling; we had also figured that it would be a quick in-and-out venture. None of us had anticipated the horrors that were to await--but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The beginning consisted of moving boxes, shelves, and furniture off the carpet so we could start prying said carpet off the floor. I think we had figured that it was loose and held down by the furniture, but pulling at the edge revealed glue. Not just a little bit either, but a LOT of glue.

At this point we were still cheerful and unsuspecting of the travails ahead.

A couple of hours into the process we had discovered a kind of method that worked a little bit: prying up the carpet with a crowbar until there was enough to grab a handful, brace oneself, and throw all of one's weight backwards until the offending stuff gave a couple of inches. Rest, rinse and repeat.

Around this time Tess, who has a marvelous problem-solving mind, wasn't happy with our (lack of) progress and started looking up ways to get up glued carpet. We found several methods (vinegar, acetone, and boiling water, respectively) and tried them all. Interestingly enough, boiling water was the most successful method.

Boiling water also keeps people from getting high and trying to play baseball with the empty vinegar bottle. *cough*

Occasionally we would strike gold and, instead of giving a mere inch or two, an entire section of carpet would rip up. It gave us a distinct sense of victory and the feeling that all of our effort wasn't for naught.

By the end of the first day (roughly from 9 AM to 5:30 PM), we had pulled all of the carpet except for a strip in front of the door. By this point we had also decided that our backs couldn't take any more tugging for the day and retired amongst many a groan.

The next day I awoke to hands swollen and weakened by the previous days' activity. It took a good 15 minutes for them to loosen up and be suitable for any kind of use.

It took a good hour to finish the last strip, and then we started on the glue.

Oh, the infernal glue. I could go on for days about this stuff. -.-

Around this point Tess dropped out of the actual scraping--she has a bad back, and it decided to go out on her. So instead she started reorganizing Josiah's desk, and EB and Charissa joined in the crew.

This was around lunchtime, after about 2 1/2 hours of work. We tried vinegar, acetone, paint thinner, Goo Gone, adhesive remover, and hot water in turn--if ever in doubt, boiling hot water is the way to go. It's fast, cheap, doesn't smell, and won't get you high.

EB decided to try on Josiah's bow tie just for kicks. XD

And then there was Tess, working industriously away!

David dropped in for a while at the end of the day. The process at this point was to pour boiling water on the glue, scrape madly until the water cooled (about 5-10 seconds), Shop-Vac the gummy bits and cold water, and rinse and repeat. To say that we all felt incredibly old is the understatement of the year--my shoulders, hands, and knees were all pretty much shot by the end of the process.

The end of Day 2 saw about half of the room scraped, and all of us thoroughly whipped.

Day 3 began with the same people scraping away. Moriah and I tackled the housekeeping shed until I traded places with Tess after she finished Josiah's desk. At that point I was back to scraping, and we (Charissa, EB, and I) spent most of our time trying to sing along with EB's Pandora station and screaming at the floor as we hacked away at the rubber bits. It wasn't a pretty sight.

However, I am glad to say that, after 3 days of scraping and gouging and cursing the people who ever thought to use copious amounts of glue for their stupid carpet, we were DONE.

And Tess finished Josiah's desk too. 

That sucker needed it too, man. (The desk, not Josiah.) It had been in a permanent state of pig-sty-ness all summer.

With that said...don't glue your carpet to the floor. Ever. EVER. EVER. It will make people want to hunt you down and do unspeakable things to you in revenge.

One's True Place (and projects)

"How, then, does one find one's true place?
It does not need finding. One's place is wherever one happens naturally to be. And only gnawing resentment can make it dishonorable." 

-- C.W. Gusewelle

 Charles Gusewelle, succinct as always. There's a reason that he's one of my favorite writers.

I've been somewhat down in the dumps lately for a variety of reasons. There's some other minor stuff, but it boils down to feeling like I'm stuck, waiting for something to happen, and not knowing how to get out of it. Or I have so many ideas and options creating- and business-wise that I freeze up and do none of them.

This, my friends, is a distinct problem. It's worse than procrastinating, because with procrastination there's a guilty pleasure in letting things slide with the intent of 'getting to it later'. With freezing up there is no pleasure; just a vague sensation of doom and wasted time.

Add feeling stuck to a sensation of doom, and what you have is a downward spiral of non-productive angsting about the future. That's why I was rather inspired after coming across the above quote this morning.

Last night, I wasn't inspired at all and spent most of my time flaking around on the internet, but not before forcing myself to start a project that I've been meaning to do for ages: make a Kindle cover.

While in Colorado I started making a leather one, but what with all the flooding and evacuation nonsense I kinda had to set it aside. My Kindle has been cover-less since I got it in July, and I'm always worried that it'll get hurt somehow. This, then, is the finished product (made using this tutorial):

  

It's not as solid as leather would be, but it serves its purpose well. I also couldn't figure out how to make it stand up for a good 10 minutes.

I did eventually figure it out though. XD

 

The original pattern didn't call for any kind of padding, so I cut some quilt batting for a little extra protection against the chipboard. Some of the measurements seemed to be off, too, because the chipboard was WAY too big and the section under the kindle seems a little narrow, but it still worked.

I'm also continuing my kefir soda experiments. Last week I ordered some glass soda bottles after an attempt to make ginger ale in mason jars turned syrupy and nasty. The bottles have a rubber sealed cap attached with a wire clamp, so I'm hoping that the lack of air will help it to stay fizzy and not change consistency again.

I've already done the above with a cream soda (a teaspoon or so of vanilla extract in kefir water) and it turned out pretty delicious. I've gotten a taste for kefir like I didn't have earlier this year, and I can't get enough of the stuff. :3 (Everyone else, on the other hand, thinks that it's nasty. More for me!)

Horse-wise....well, I'm not going to take up blog-space by blubbering or complaining about the current stage of horse-less-ness. Our farrier (and my best friend's dad) has offered to let me ride one of their mares whenever I'd like. She's a paint, about 10-12 years old, and blind. Her real name is Nina (or Grace, depending on who you ask) but I've always just referred to her as 'the blind mare'.

If you look closely you can see the film over her pupil--the eye on the other side is atrophied.

She's a real sweetheart, and SO incredibly trusting--if I point her in a direction and tell her to go, she'll go in that direction until I tell her to stop (or she trips on something ^^;). She knows that when I check her, that means to go slow and feel out the terrain because something has changed. I would never take her on a trail ride or any other place where the terrain changes constantly, but she can walk along roads or across a bean field with no trouble and as long as I keep an eye out she does superbly. Several times I've come across a ditch or dip and, after a check, she'll take little careful steps until we're past it. It's pretty amazing.

I've ridden her twice in the last week, and have come to the realization that I really don't miss the riding as much as I do just taking care of a horse. It's strange to me to get her out, ride, and put her back without fussing or feeding. She also has some stall quirks such as pawing the ground and turning in circles, so she has to be hobbled in her stall. She doesn't mind the hobbles, and it keeps her from being destructive, but....meh.

Anyway. Life is slow and I usually wildly oscillate between being depressed and/or uninspired to bucking up and making myself quit having pity parties. XD

A new addition....

I mentioned in passing earlier that I now have a car, and here she is in all her sleek and silvery glory.

(Isn't she purty? :3)

I went car-shopping with Mom and Dad on Monday--I've been looking online for months and originally had my sights on a manual Toyota Corolla. I love driving manual, and was just really hoping to have one of my own. The only problem: apparently no one within 4 hours has a nice, 4-door, manual car for sale under my price range. -.- So I just had to drive automatics...I didn't mind THAT much, but I was a little disappointed at first.

Mom and Dad were looking for another vehicle as well, so while they drove some cars I tried out a Corolla and a Yaris. The Corolla was fun and felt kinda sporty, but the size kind of put me off. I'm rather used to larger vehicles and usually drive the truck or van, so it was a little disconcerting to have the ceiling so close to my head.

The Yaris was a no-go from the start. It felt sporty as well, but not nearly as well-built or (relatively) solid as the Corolla, and didn't have hardly any amenities. I was leaning towards the Corolla when the salesman mentioned in an off-handed manner that they had just gotten an '04 Toyota Camry in that weekend, and it hadn't been detailed yet but we were welcome to look at it.

The moment I sat in the driver's seat, I breathed a sigh of contentment. While not a luxury car it was still practically spotless (even before detailing) and had a great solid feel. Plus my head didn't feel like it was about to brush the ceiling.

 A few moments later I started to drive off, with Mom and Dad along for the ride, and we all looked at each other when there was an immediate, distinct rumbling sound. It seemed to come from everywhere at once, and we stopped for a moment to ask the salesman what in the world was going on. As it turned out, the previous owner (a lady in her 80s) was terrified of getting stuck in the snow. Her precaution manifested itself in these incredible snow tires--they were brand new, with an abundance of tread, and they sounded like an airplane taking off as we drove across the parking lot. (Once we got off the lot and were going a little faster it abated, but it still rumbled a bit.)

A long story short: I was highly impressed by the car, and best of all it was exactly within my price range. I'm not comfortable with spouting off the intimate details of exactly what that range was, but I was able to pay with cash. Biggest check I've ever written in my life, let me tell you right now. O.o The ease of mind from not having to worry about a payment and the pure satisfaction that comes from being able to do something like that is well worth the check-writing, though. Many thanks to Dave Ramsey and my parents for fostering the saving tendencies of a squirrel, that's all I have to say about that. :P

They detailed the car and I drove back down on Tuesday to get it. It was weird, but while writing the check and taking the keys it still hadn't quite clicked that I had bought a car. But once I sat in the driver's seat and started following Mom back home....it all clicked.

This is MINE. No one helped me buy it, no loans were necessary. That, my friends, is a feeling that you can't even describe. And I love it. Of course, my savings are somewhat decimated at the moment, but that's just an opportunity to keep on saving. XD

Week 12 Recap

 This was all written weeks ago--there's only a couple more week recaps to do, so I figured I'd better get those up and out of the way before I continue on with life in general. (Life in general has grown to include getting my own car--I paid for it with cash, so it's *completely* mine, and I kinda wubs it.)

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Week 12! Only two weeks to the end of family camps.....this was the week that I officially started working in the kitchen (or rather, worked in there for a week while Annie was gone) and took the family pictures on Sunday, etc etc.

It was a good week, but....somewhat stressful. Being in the kitchen was an interesting experience, but I didn't know where anything was, when to get things ready...plus I was running back and forth to take pictures and felt somewhat stretched. But overall it was a good experience. If I had been in there another week or so I probably would have gotten to know my way around better, but as it was, one week wasn't quiiiite enough.

More after the break!

10/10/13

Yesterday we had to put down my best friend and teacher of 12 years.

I can't even describe how heartbroken I've been for the past two days...I've finally gotten to the point where I can talk/think about it without immediately bursting out into tears, but I've been fighting routine all day(going out morning/evening to feed, going on rides, brushing/fussing over her in the afternoons, etc). Argh.

Yesterday when I went out to feed around 8:15 in the morning I noticed that Colletta was lying down in the paddock. That's not particularly unusual, because she's often sleeping or dozing at that time. The unusual part was where she didn't get up when I walked out to her, and I noticed that her eyes were so swollen and mud-caked that she couldn't see. So I ran back to the house, told Mom something was wrong, and ran back out to halter her up and get her to her feet.

When the vet arrived, he looked at her eyes and watched her general demeanor before saying that he thought that she seemed colicky, and that her eyes were swollen from rubbing dirt in them. By this point it was obvious that he was correct because she kept pawing the ground, trying to lay down, and looked very uncomfortable. So he pumped a gallon of mineral oil through a tube down her nose (made her nose bleed, poor thing), did a rectal exam, and gave her some pain meds to try to make her more comfortable. He also tried to do a saline drip, but couldn't get the needle to stay in the vein. (He was a young guy, and had only been working at the vet service for a few months, and was the only one on duty--I felt badly for him that he had to do it all alone especially when I don't think horses were his strong suit)

After he left we kept walking her and trying to keep her up--I had a chiropractic appointment at noon, so while I raced down to get that out of the way Mom kept her walking for me. As I was riding my bike home about 45 minutes later Mom called to tell me that Colletta had just gone down, and she couldn't get her back up.

When I came back into the yard she was lying down on her side in the yard, not even offering to pick her head up while Mom was pulling on the lead rope. I helped to roll her onto her chest (do you know how heavy a horse is that doesn't want to get up? Pretty dang heavy), and we called the vet again. He tried to put a saline drip in her vein, but from all the poking and prying he had done earlier the veins on both sides were pretty shot and he couldn't keep the needle in. So after some more poking and prying he gave up, and said that it was probably okay to let her lie down for a while but to not let her roll.

From 1 PM to 4:30 it was a constant battle: she would get up for a few minutes, walk slowly around, and stagger back down to lie on her side. Every time she went down her breathing would change to taking a breath, holding it, and then letting it out with a grunt. So I would sit down next to her head, try to keep her quiet, and whenever she rolled onto her chest to get momentum to roll over her back I would jump up and pull on the lead rope to try to keep her from rolling. This didn't always succeed, but it helped a little bit.

The time between the minutes on her feet grew longer and longer, and each time she got up she seemed weaker and weaker--to the point that after a few steps she would start staggering and drop to her knees. She would strain as well, like she was attempting to pass something but just couldn't. The whole time this all was happening the dog was circling and whining/barking with concern.

When Dad got home around 4:30 we all tried to get her up, and for a moment she seemed to rally: she got up and started walking, and seemed more purposeful for a few minutes. Dad was praying that she would 'have the biggest bowel movement in Illinois right now', and it really seemed like something would happen. The vet had already said that he would come out after his last appointments of the day, and a couple of minutes before he arrived she went down again onto her right side.

Before this point Mom and I had been talking, and we knew that we had to come to a decision sooner or later. The thing with colic is that one is never quite sure what causes it, and as a general term it can mean anything from 'gas' to 'blockage' to 'twisted bowel'. We have a feeling that it was a blockage (if it hadn't been, the mineral oil should have worked within a few hours, not taken over 9), and the only way to treat that is surgery. In order to have surgery, she would have had to have been taken to a university animal hospital, and I don't even know where the nearest one is to this area.

Anyway. Suffice to say, her groanings were getting worse, and she was trying more and more to roll the longer she would lie on the ground. The vet gave some faint offerings of hope in the form of surgery, but we already knew that that wasn't an option. She was in so much pain anyway that we couldn't get her to her feet at all, and we told him to do what he had to do.

He put her to sleep first (actual sleep) before the actual injection, and I held her head on my lap and stroked her face while he did it. Her eyes, after being swollen all day with no watery discharge, started tearing up and it looked like she was crying while he did it. (Lord knows we all were at this point) Even the dog was lying down about 20 feet away with his head on his paws and watching quietly.

We buried her out in the back pasture under a group of cottonwood trees--I'm eternally grateful to the excavator because he came out within 15 minutes of our calling and dug the hole well and quickly. I don't know if I could have slept with her lying out in the yard all alone.

I miss her terribly, as is to be expected, and to my consternation I actually spent some time tonight looking up 'horses for sale' ads online. Obviously I don't expect to get a horse again for some time, but gosh it's hard. I've been through more ups and downs, more friendships and teaching moments and lonely spots than I have with anyone else in my life. I can honestly say that she wasn't like any other horse I've ever known.

I'm just so glad that she didn't go alone, and that I was home from Colorado to see her for the last 10 days.

Well...I'm back.

I may have been slightly procrastinating over the last few weeks. Ahem. Suffice to say, I'm home now a little sooner than expected (came back on the 1st as opposed to the 12th), and have pictures and such to post, but first I think it's time to be a little introspective.

First before the first thing (does that make any sense?), the last few days before leaving were kind of unreal. We were still working like crazy people, finished scraping glue off Josiah's office floor (I have a whole post about that, don't worry), and while some of us were preparing to leave others were preparing to stay as long as need be. They're still on the ranch, so prayers for them are much appreciated.

Seven of us stayed with Kas' family outside of Denver, so we left on Sunday, spent Monday chilling, and went to the airport on Tuesday. Sunday felt like a dream, to be honest. I went to church, participated in an elk bugling contest (which was an absolute blast and I got a t-shirt out of the deal XD), and then wandered around the camp in something of a daze thinking, 'this will be the last time I see this creek...the last time I see staff housing...the last time I see this or that or the other...' But I didn't cry. (I thought I had gotten that all out the previous night, after watching 'While You Were Sleeping with Charissa and Emily and sobbing on their shoulders about leaving) I didn't even cry when we hugged everyone goodbye, or when all my things got packed in the truck, or as we started to drive away.

But just when I was thinking that I had gotten away unscathed, Tess turns around from the front seat of the car with tears streaming down her face and sobs, "Guys, this SUCKS." And then we all (meaning all 5 of us girls in the car) officially lost it. The ensuing flow of tears was an unstoppable force or something. Ugh.

We all managed to get it together eventually, and the drive to Kas' house was absolutely gorgeous. Fall is in full swing in Colorado, and let me tell you there's nothing quite like it.

The aspens are even more yellow now, if the pictures on Facebook are any indicator. Sigh. It is SO pretty there.

But anyway. Monday we putzed around most of the day, relaxing and walking around town a bit (we went to Kas' family's coffee shop, and WOW. Getting ideas like crazy, y'all.), and went to this animal sanctuary about 20 minutes from her house. They rescue large carnivores from abusive situations, for the most part, and give tours over the pens and such. I have pictures of lions, and tigers, and bears (oh my), and wolves, etc. XD

Tuesday I came home...and I've been wildly oscillating between loving being home (the huge amounts of oxygen have given me lots of energy), desperately wishing I was back on the ranch, and wondering what I'm going to do next.

(Here's where it gets introspective. You're welcome to stay or go as you will.)

I've been biking and riding the horse in between cleaning houses, unpacking (done now, just need to sort between the things I need and don't need), and eating about half of what I was eating out West. (I gained like 15 pounds out there. I may or may not be slightly aghast at this fact. >.< On the plus side--no pun intended--I can now climb mountains and haul 5-gallon water jugs like they're nothing.) The exercise is much needed after going from pretty manual labor-filled days to very easy days. And I think the horse is liking the attention. She's been wanting to run and get going every time I ride, which is really nice after not riding much at all this summer.

There's just something of an adjustment period, I guess...after living with the same people for 5 months, pouring into them and being poured into with hopes, doubts, fears, prayers, and reaching a level of intimacy and unity that I have NEVER experienced in my entire life with any other group of people, I've been feeling somewhat uprooted. My thoughts are scattered, my actions even more so, and all I want to do is ride my horse and think and read books I've read a million times before.

I finished reading North and South last week (a new book for me, but one that will be read and re-read, fret not), and watched the miniseries with Richard Armitage again, and GAH. Let's just say that I shouldn't watch romances at all, because it makes me feel unsatisfied and sad and filled with warm fuzzies/happy at the same time. Argh.

But back to the subject on hand. Basically...I miss people, and having day-to-day purpose, and I don't know what to do with my life, and I feel very confused and lonely these days. Hopefully things will settle down, and I'll try to post some more pictures etc, but I can't promise too much at the moment.

The Great Wind River Mudslide of 2013, Part 1

Okay guys. This is going to be a HUGE post, because I've been taking pictures practically nonstop since everything really started happening on Thursday. We have been flooded, mudslided twice, evacuated ourselves, evacuated horses...it's been an exciting weekend, to say the least.

As of today (Sunday) Estes Park is a flood zone. Longmont, Lyons, Denver, etc are all underwater, and we staff members have been evacuated to Estes. We're staying with some very generous people that are connected with the ranch, and all of us are safe. But let's just get started with the pictures.

Thursday morning I had set my alarm to get up and go to the barn, but woke up to the sound of rain slashing against the window. So, after a few moments of debating the merits of getting up vs. going out in the wet, I decided to stay inside. XD It turns out none of the wranglers got up anyway, so I didn't have to go down to the barn and come back in disgrace.

After breakfast we were put on flood duty...(read more after the break)

WRR Mudslide

Just a brief update to let y'all know what's going on....I have a bajillion pictures starting from Thursday when the rain really started to intensify, but I can only upload a couple for now. I'm sure y'all know by now that Estes Park, Longmont, Lyons, Denver, Boulder, etc are all basically underwater. I can't even describe the pure devastation that has occurred so far, but I'm going to try.

There were two mudslides on Thursday--a 'small' one that wiped out part of the upper meadow and the entirety of fireside, and a huge one that barely missed our property. For an idea of the scope of the thing, watch this video starting at 23:25:

Our ranch is covered in sand, and the first mudslide exposed an underwater spring or something, so we now have a literal river running through Wind River. It has carved this lovely canyon down our road, and no one knows exactly how to make it stop, or if that's even possible. 

I'll try to get pictures up soonish. I had thought that I would be leaving Monday, but they want all staff to stay on until we can get everything winterized--gosh, so much has happened in the last two days. Gah. I'll just work on uploading those pictures, shall I? Just know for now that we're all safe and staying in town/off the ranch just in case there's more hazardous conditions, etc.

Week 11 Recap

As of this writing we're in the middle of Week 14. O.o Less than a week until conference season starts! *cheers* I'm already planning how to spend my 3 days off. Ees gonna be fantastic. But on to week 11!

Several of the girls decided to spend their last night at WRR playing mud football. Below we have a set of before and after pictures.

I think they were CRAZY. Especially since it was freezing that night and mud is sticky and COLD.

What badasses. (I normally don't say things like that, but ees kinda true for this picture. XD)

While Keens and I were in town we saw this little guy outside a shop. He was completely unafraid of the huge crowd of people holding cameras around his little vibrating body...kudos to the tourist-desensitized hummingbird population!

The same goes for the bees. They're pretty chill as well.

Sunday morning we went to Kind Coffee and sat next to the river before going to church...it's become a tradition that I really enjoy. There's usually a pretty good-sized group of us, and we get coffee/tea/breakfast before talking about what we've been reading in the Bible for the week or what the Lord has been teaching us. For me...there's been a lot of correction and teaching to be patient. I thought I was pretty patient people and relationship-wise, but...not so much. Oh well. Ees something to work on.

Monday morning jingling! I am in LOVE with this picture of Cody and Poncho. 

I'm also in love with this one of Copper and EB. :3

Speaking of EB, she's in the process of making saddles for Lij and Andrew! Let's just say that I'm slightly fascinated by the process and have gone down to watch a few times.

She told them to write stuff on the trees (the framework, basically) that symbolizes themselves and what they want for themselves, their future, etc. It's just a neat thing to do, really.

Also, we have steers! They're awesome. Even though one keeps getting out. O.e

Will was kinda getting smoked out while cooking lunch that day.... ^^;

Artsy rain pictures...

Josiah! Seriously, the guy is freakin' talented. My favorite part of the week is watching the video recap, because it's always different and always has a new take on the week. Gah.

Katie! I miss her. :C

And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have a rare sighting of an un-hatted Cody.

WAFFLES!! I miss that dude too. *sigh*

FIIIIIIRE!!

Keens, hamming it up.... XD

We (Keens and I) went on a morning walk/jog to Lily Lake one day, and I basically got a bunch of random pictures of random stuff. So here goes!

A natural 45-degree angle. O.o

The sun rising over part of Twin Sisters...I love this shot. :3

Lily Lake! This place is beautiful in the morning, filled with ducks and roses. The latter means that there's tons of rose hips everywhere, and soon as we get a good frost I'm going to pick and dry as many as I can find. :3

Warning: the next dozen pictures or so are just ducks. I may or may not have a thing for ducks. ^^;

This one is where a duck was on its head, and my camera focused on the grass in the foreground instead of the duck tail in the background. -.- Sigh.

This may be my favorite picture from that entire shoot.XD

Rodeo time! I'd never been able to attend the rodeo before, because it falls on a Wednesday which is full clean day for housekeeping. We usually try to blast through cleaning at the expense of attending the rodeo...but Josiah has been having me take pictures for the Olympics and rodeo so he can concentrate on video stuff.

Soooo....on this particular Wednesday we were cleaning and I heard the bell ring. (At this point I didn't know that Josiah wanted me to take pictures.) I had this feeling like I ought to go to the rodeo, so Lacey and Lindsey told me that I should go ahead and go. I started to put my stuff away when Gabrielle (one of the servers) drags herself into the cabin we were cleaning to gasp out the message that Josiah wanted me to take pictures. So instead of leisurely going to get my camera and strolling down to the arena I found myself sprinting from Chalet (the farthest cabin from anything of importance on the ranch) to staff housing, crawling up the stairs to my room, and then galloping down the hill to the arena. It's a good thing I've been trying to run/walk/increase my wind, because otherwise I probably would have died instead of merely going into minor asphyxiation.

And here we see Britany and Katie racing for the other side of the arena....yeah. Terribly exciting and all that. XD

Get yo mosey on!

The kids all get to ride on Brownie, and sometimes they decide to show off their mad skillz. :P

Notice anything about this picture? Anything?

All I gotta say is, ees purty impressive.

KATIE!!

Charissa, on the hunt for a couple of horses...

The old guy she's roping here and a little bay go in the pasture by themselves because, as skinny hard keepers (they don't gain weight easily), we don't want to have them fighting for their food. Somehow they got in with the other horses and didn't want to be herded out; thus, the rope was employed.

Crows over Longs...

All the staff who leaves gets to go on a ride before they leave...and it was Katie's turn. *sniff*

Oh! I got to lead a hike to Ouzel Falls one day, and it was AWESOME. :D

Josiah again, on top of the falls...

This little guy was getting a little too inquisitive. O.e

Slow shutter speeds are da bomb.

Josiah took a bunch of footage of our feet (see what I did there? *slaps knee*), but it never actually made it into the video. :/

Snoozing before the hootenanny...we're tired all the time, folks. Ya gotta snatch the sleep where you can.

It's kind of disturbing how much EB looks like Mario here. O.o

JAKE! Man, I miss that dude.

A group of us went stargazing in the upper meadow, and the sight was AMAZING.

Thus wraps us Week 11! I'll try to get the last 3 weeks up before conference season starts. We'll see how it goes, yes? Yes. In other news, it's late and we have turnover tomorrow before having time off, and I really need mah sleep. >.<