Well...I'm back.

I may have been slightly procrastinating over the last few weeks. Ahem. Suffice to say, I'm home now a little sooner than expected (came back on the 1st as opposed to the 12th), and have pictures and such to post, but first I think it's time to be a little introspective.

First before the first thing (does that make any sense?), the last few days before leaving were kind of unreal. We were still working like crazy people, finished scraping glue off Josiah's office floor (I have a whole post about that, don't worry), and while some of us were preparing to leave others were preparing to stay as long as need be. They're still on the ranch, so prayers for them are much appreciated.

Seven of us stayed with Kas' family outside of Denver, so we left on Sunday, spent Monday chilling, and went to the airport on Tuesday. Sunday felt like a dream, to be honest. I went to church, participated in an elk bugling contest (which was an absolute blast and I got a t-shirt out of the deal XD), and then wandered around the camp in something of a daze thinking, 'this will be the last time I see this creek...the last time I see staff housing...the last time I see this or that or the other...' But I didn't cry. (I thought I had gotten that all out the previous night, after watching 'While You Were Sleeping with Charissa and Emily and sobbing on their shoulders about leaving) I didn't even cry when we hugged everyone goodbye, or when all my things got packed in the truck, or as we started to drive away.

But just when I was thinking that I had gotten away unscathed, Tess turns around from the front seat of the car with tears streaming down her face and sobs, "Guys, this SUCKS." And then we all (meaning all 5 of us girls in the car) officially lost it. The ensuing flow of tears was an unstoppable force or something. Ugh.

We all managed to get it together eventually, and the drive to Kas' house was absolutely gorgeous. Fall is in full swing in Colorado, and let me tell you there's nothing quite like it.

The aspens are even more yellow now, if the pictures on Facebook are any indicator. Sigh. It is SO pretty there.

But anyway. Monday we putzed around most of the day, relaxing and walking around town a bit (we went to Kas' family's coffee shop, and WOW. Getting ideas like crazy, y'all.), and went to this animal sanctuary about 20 minutes from her house. They rescue large carnivores from abusive situations, for the most part, and give tours over the pens and such. I have pictures of lions, and tigers, and bears (oh my), and wolves, etc. XD

Tuesday I came home...and I've been wildly oscillating between loving being home (the huge amounts of oxygen have given me lots of energy), desperately wishing I was back on the ranch, and wondering what I'm going to do next.

(Here's where it gets introspective. You're welcome to stay or go as you will.)

I've been biking and riding the horse in between cleaning houses, unpacking (done now, just need to sort between the things I need and don't need), and eating about half of what I was eating out West. (I gained like 15 pounds out there. I may or may not be slightly aghast at this fact. >.< On the plus side--no pun intended--I can now climb mountains and haul 5-gallon water jugs like they're nothing.) The exercise is much needed after going from pretty manual labor-filled days to very easy days. And I think the horse is liking the attention. She's been wanting to run and get going every time I ride, which is really nice after not riding much at all this summer.

There's just something of an adjustment period, I guess...after living with the same people for 5 months, pouring into them and being poured into with hopes, doubts, fears, prayers, and reaching a level of intimacy and unity that I have NEVER experienced in my entire life with any other group of people, I've been feeling somewhat uprooted. My thoughts are scattered, my actions even more so, and all I want to do is ride my horse and think and read books I've read a million times before.

I finished reading North and South last week (a new book for me, but one that will be read and re-read, fret not), and watched the miniseries with Richard Armitage again, and GAH. Let's just say that I shouldn't watch romances at all, because it makes me feel unsatisfied and sad and filled with warm fuzzies/happy at the same time. Argh.

But back to the subject on hand. Basically...I miss people, and having day-to-day purpose, and I don't know what to do with my life, and I feel very confused and lonely these days. Hopefully things will settle down, and I'll try to post some more pictures etc, but I can't promise too much at the moment.