Reflections Upon The Chronicles of Narnia

(Spoilers and quotes abound within--if you haven't read the Narnian books and don't wish to have them spoiled for you, go no further.)

I was one of those kids who sort of grew up with the Narnia books (my older brothers loved them and we have a well-worn boxed set to prove it), but never actually read them until I was a pre-teen. Then I made the mistake of reading The Last Battle first (because it had the picture of a unicorn on the cover), and read the rest of the series out of order before coming to my senses and reading them from the beginning.

Since then--well over 10 years ago--I've read them several times from beginning to end. Each time I see something else or remember parts that I've forgotten about, and start wanting to use words like 'delicious' and 'beastly' and 'thrilling' more often and call people 'a brick'. (That's a good thing, apparently, to be a brick.) Recently I got an omnibus version of the series that's about the size of my omnibus of Lord of the Rings, and have been remembering why I love these books so much.

They're great adventure stories, and I agree very much with Lewis' opinion that adults should enjoy fairy stories as much or more so than children. But throughout the books there is this marked wistfulness for something better, something higher and grander in life to look forward to. In Narnia it's Aslan's Country--here on earth it's Heaven.

Do you know what I mean? It's that feeling of homesickness when you're home, the sadness of being stuck in one spot while others are going on to something we can't even imagine. This quote sums it up pretty well:

'And suddenly there came a breeze from the east, tossing the top of the wave into foamy shapes and ruffling the smooth water all round them. It lasted only a second or so but what it brought them in that second none of those three children will ever forget. It brought both a smell and a sound, a musical sound. Edmund and Eustace would never talk about it afterwards. Lucy could only say, "It would break your heart." "Why," said I, "was it so sad?" "Sad!! No," said Lucy.' -- Voyage of the Dawn TreaderIt's one of those parts that's so wistful and not-sad that it IS sad, if that makes any sense. It brings a tightening to the throat (mine, at least) and makes me wish I was there.

 Another place, if I had the space to quote it in its entirety, would be the last chapter of 'The Last Battle'. In the meantime, the last few paragraphs of the chapter will suffice (this is after everyone has been in Aslan's Country for some time--the 'real' Narnia and the 'real' England--and have been meeting and greeting all the old characters from throughout the books).

Then Aslan turned to them and said: "You do not yet look so happy as I mean you to be."

Lucy said, "We're so afraid of being sent away, Aslan. And you have sent us back into our own world so often."

"No fear of that," said Aslan. "Have you not guessed?"

Their hearts leapt, and a wild hope rose within them.

"There was a real railway accident," said Aslan softly. "Your father and mother and all of you are--as you used to call it in the Shadowlands--dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."

And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before. 

Or, as it says elsewhere:

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Cor. 13:12

All the books have these little glimpses of something indescribably amazing, hinting and alluding to the fact that this is not all there is--and even this is a vague shadow compared to the way things will be. And they make me cry every freakin' time. XD

I used to think that I cried was because I was afraid--afraid of not being saved, afraid that that hope and desire for something better was only going to be squashed when that time comes, or that all those beautiful things and ideas would never come to pass because I don't deserve it. (Those seemed like pretty legit fears when a little kid reading about the end of the world in a fictional book. Even now at times they still seem legit.)

(Good grief, this is getting rather heavy. *blows nose*)

But as I get older, that feeling of fear and the feeling of longing almost seem the same. Do you know what I mean? Before going on a trip I can be excited, but nervous and a little scared at the same time. When I read the Narnian stories, that longing and excitement/fear seem to blend together until they manifest in tears because there's no other way to express them.

When describing parts of the books that I love (Eustace's transformation from a dragon is one of my absolute favorites--I hate the movie for messing that part up so colossally), I have to speak very quickly just to keep from tearing up simply because they are so apt and, for lack of a better word, beautiful. I can't think of any other way to describe them.

Some of you may now think that I'm a bit of a sap. And I've decided that I don't care. :p To quote Lewis, "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." Have I mentioned that he's one of my favorite authors and all-around people? Well, he is. So there. :p

In the meantime...the wistfulness remains. How I long for It!