Continuing in the vein of the Sunday Morning Study series, here is week 2!
This is another chapter that I had a hard time with. It tells the story of a young lady who is approached by a young man she barely knows in order to court her. (I don't care if you say court, date, whatever--it's all semantics to me--but the book says court so that's what I'm going to use for continuities' sake.) She's very hesitant at first, but prayerfully considers it, consults others in her family and that she knows for their advice, and decides to go ahead and go for it. It works out, they get married, and there's an interview in the back going for the guy's perspective.
I had a hard time with this chapter because I don't like some forms of courting, particularly the example found in this chapter. For those who don't know, 'courtship' is like serious dating for Christians. One normally doesn't approach another for a courtship unless they're pretty sure that they want to marry them. It's not a casual approach in the least.
My main issue with courtship is that it relies very heavily on parental involvement. I'm all over parents being involved and checking out prospective suitors and all that--but I'm a little weirded out by a guy ONLY going to a girl's father and ONLY talking to him for permission and to know about a girl, with very little contact with the girl at all. I know that not all forms of courtship are the same--I mainly have issues with the type I'm spelling out. (My dad has already told me that if someone I didn't know very well were to approach him about me, he'd say 'what does she think about you?' before going any further. A very big thanks, Dad!)
In this chapter, the guy watches the girl for a while to get an idea of her personality and character, talks to people who know her to get an idea of what she's like, and then talks to her father without giving her the slightest hint of friendliness, much less interest. This is just speaking for myself, but if someone was interested in me, I'd prefer it if he got to know me and not just about me from everyone else (and a little friendliness never killed anyone...). It seems like a very hands-off, overly cautious approach. It's nice to get to know someone, in a group setting if nothing else, before they drop a bombshell of 'I'd like to marry you'.
But anyway. That's just my personal opinion. There was still a lot of good stuff in the chapter--and like I said in the previous study post, there's times that I don't agree with the book. This just happens to be one of those times.
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Chapter 2: Courtship to Whom?
Focus: Discovering God's Will
Stubborn: 1. Unduly determined to exert one's will; refractory
2. Not easily persuaded; obstinate
3. Resistant, contrary
Obstinate: 1. Stubbornly adhering to an attitude, opinion, or course of action
2. Difficult to manage, control, or subdue
3. Difficult to alleviate or cure
Synonyms: refractory, obstinate, unmanageable, resistant, unresponsive
Antonyms: amenability, flexibility, compliant, willing
Deuteronomy 9:27 (concerning the people of Israel and Moses praying for God to forgive them their stubbornness and the golden calf)
1 Samuel 15:23--"For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry."
Proverbs 7:11--"She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house." (referring to the adulterous woman)
The following verses are on what a young woman can do to come to a knowledge of God's will.
1 Corinthians 7:34--"An unmarried woman or
virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted
to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."
(She honors God in her youth.)
Proverbs 11:14--"For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers."
Proverbs 12:15--"The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
(She is open to counsel.)
Proverbs 31:10-31--"A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
(She proves herself hardworking and willing to be a good wife.)
James 1:5--"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
(She prays for wisdom.)
1 Timothy 2:2--"First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way."
(She prays for those in authority over her so that they will be watching for any young man who might be a good match.)
Colossians 1:11--"...being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience..."
Romans 5:3-4--Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Romans 8:25--"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
(She waits with patience and joy.)
Galatians 5:13--"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."
(She looks for ways to serve others.)
Proverbs 19:20-21--"Listen to advice and accept discipline,
and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."(When a man of honor asks for her, and those who have watched over her feel he is a good man, then she genuinely seeks the Lord for His direction.)
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